Our Little Secret
by axelfar
Summary: The king and the commando. They were destined to form a rivalry, but when a kiss between them changes everything, will that rivalry give way to a secret romance? SkipperxJulien
1. Briefing

**Description: **Skipper and King Julien have become a couple but no one must know about it. They've managed to keep it a secret for this long, but will their luck hold out?

**Rating:** Rated M for lemons and, well, yeah, lemons XD (and for other possible stuff down the road)

_**Author's note:**_ Well this is my first PoM fanfic, so I hope I'll do a good job keeping everyone in character. This is a short introductory chapter to kind of explain some background to the main story. Kinda like a flashback of sorts. I might do that from time to time. It's written in 3rd person but it goes into Skipper's point of view sometimes, in the form of his thoughts. All thoughts are in _italic. _I dunno where this story will go, because the first line just popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. Well enough of my rambling, on to the story!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to Dreamworks and Nickelodeon.

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**Chapter 1: Briefing**

It began simple enough. It was an accident really. They were arguing like always. It's funny, he couldn't even remember what they were arguing about. It didn't matter anyway, it was probably something unimportant like Julien playing his boom box at all hours of the night, or maybe a dispute over territory rights since "his majesty" had decided to expand his kingdom out into Central Park. Whatever the case, they were shouting each other down, neither of them willing to listen to the other.

It was just the two of them. Kowalski had suggested the one-on-one meeting. Said something about how historically leaders of two warring groups would come together and form some kind of treaty. Skipper was skeptical but decided to give it a shot. They set the meeting up so that he and Julien would negotiate at the zoo storage room.

Skipper had tried his best, he really did, even going as far as to stroke Julien's ego. But the ring-tailed lemur was so full of himself that Skipper decided to throw the nice talk out the window and give him a good dose of reality. Needless to say, Julien didn't appreciate being called a "delusional, self-centered, drama queen."

Tempers flared and there was much finger pointing and insults being flung. Each insult brought them closer and closer together until their faces where mere centimeters from each other. They stared each other down, their eyes filled with fury.

That's when _it_ happened. Julien was in a squatting position so he was face level with Skipper, and he must have lost his balanced. Or maybe Skipper just moved his head too far in. Either way, his maw met his beak.

It was a kiss. Just a simple kiss. It only lasted about three seconds, but its effects were profound. The room went dead quiet. The first thing Skipper noticed was the anger in Julien's eyes washing away and being replaced by surprise, shock, and just a hint of desire. Skipper's own body was sending pleasant shivers down his spine, his beak tingling with warmth. He felt his eyelids start to droop and his mind went on auto-pilot. Somehow, his flippers had wound up on Julien's shoulders, and Julien's paws were on his waist.

They pulled apart slowly from each other. They stared at each other not really knowing what to say. The room was awkwardly silent. Skipper looked away first. He was desperately trying to make sense out of what just happened. His mind screamed that it was just a fluke, that he should be grossed out, but his body said otherwise. He could still taste Julien on his beak, lychee nuts with a hint of other tropical fruits.

Skipper turned his gaze to the floor, one of his flippers rubbing the back of his head.

"So, uh… ring-tail…"

"I am agreeing with your conditions."

"Huh?" Skipper looked up surprised at what the lemur had said. Julien had taken a seat on the floor, his face showed he was deep in though. He locked eyes with Skipper for a moment before standing up. Slowly he made his way over, taking his time as if he was a predator playing with his pray. Skipper took a few steps back, not really sure what would happen next. He had enough on his plate to deal with, he didn't need Julien adding more to it now.

Julien picked up the pace and caught up to Skipper in the middle of the room. Skipper gulped loudly and looked up into his face.

"The King, which is me, has decided to be allowing your treaty."

And then Julien leaned down and kissed him. Skipper flinched before he calmed down and gave into the kiss. It was longer than the other one, and this one was no accident. Skipper didn't try to stop Julien. The voice that was screaming at him to shove him away was being blocked out by the voice telling him to just go with it.

Julien pulled away, a small smile on his face as he started walking toward the exit.

"Nighty nite silly penguin."

Skipper was left alone to collect his thoughts, all of which had been blown to smithereens after that second kiss. A million questions ran through his mind. _What the hell just happened? How the hell did it happen? How could I let it happen? Why did I ever let Kowalski talk me into this?! WHY DID I ENJOY THAT SO MUCH?!?_

That last question was the most terrifying, because its answer would not be pretty. He would also have to endure his teammate's questions when he got back to HQ. They would want to know how the mission went and how he got Julien to consent to everything.

He sighed. This night was just getting worse and worse. He had no choice but to lie to his friends. They couldn't know about this. As he set off he prayed his lying had improved since the incident with the doctor and the needle.

_At this rate, tomorrow is going to be even worse._

_

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_

I hope you enjoyed it :D

Leave a review if you want.


	2. Operation Rendezvous

_**Author's note: **_Yay, lemon time ^_^ My first time writing one so I hope I did okay. A note about penguin anatomy first: Penguins are birds and therefore have no penises, but instead have a thing called a cloaca, which they used to pee, poo, and have sex with. Since that's no fun, I figured I might as well give Skipper the, ahem, _proper equipment_ since I don't have to be 100% realistic or accurate. They're military penguins who carry out complex missions at a zoo for crying out loud XD. I did give Julien a sheath though.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters but that's okay because they already made Julien flamboyantly gay :D

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**Chapter 2: Operation Rendezvous**

Skipper looked up to take in the view of the zoo storage room. It stored the zoo's supply of popcorn, among other things. He took a good look around to make sure the coast was clear. The last thing he needed was anybody knowing what was going on.

Satisfied that no one was following him, he quickly made his way inside.

"Well it's about time you showed up. Don't you know not to keep a King waiting?" King Julien had his hands on his hips and a scowl on his lips, but Skipper knew he was acting upset.

"Sorry Ring-tail, but I had to make sure everyone was asleep. You know more precautions have to be taken on a non-standard nights."

A pair of arms wound their way around Skipper, their owner pressing his chest against his back.

"I can't be helping it. I couldn't wait another 5 days to be with you like this." He planted a small kiss on the side of his beak and then proceeded to start spooning him, his tail rapping around them. Skipper wrapped his flippers around the tail, stroking it gently.

"What did Mort and Maurice say?" asked Skipper, turning his head to allow Julien to trail a line of kisses down his neck.

"Nothing. I've been leaving my habitat at night for so often now they don't question it anymore. I also ordered them to be staying put and they know better than to disobey their King." Julien's hand started making small circles on Skipper's chest gradually going lower. It was a sign Julien was getting impatient. Skipper smirked.

"If only my men were that obedient. If I told them to stay put they would follow after me to make sure I was safe."

"Part of your penguin rule thingies, right?" Skipper grabbed Julien's paw before it went any lower and raised it up to give it a kiss. He started leading Julien to their usual spot, seeing that Julien had used the time waiting for him to set up the blanket and pillows.

"The penguin credo: Never swim alone," he said, lying down on the soft blue blanket adorned with pictures of penguins. They had taken it, or rather _commandeered_ it, from the zoovenier shop awhile back when Julien complained lying on the floor was not befitting of a King. It's the same reason they had the pillows. Skipper on the other hand didn't mind the cold hard ground.

"But you're not here to swim, you're here to do something much more funner." Julien laid down next to him, taking the time to stare into his eyes before pulling Skipper in close for a kiss. It started off gentle, but it soon got deeper, more passionate. Maw against beak, each fighting for dominance. How many kisses had they shared together? They lost count. It was almost six months ago that the incident happened. Their relationship had changed so much in that time, but one thing remained the same. What they did was to be kept secret from the rest of the world.

Skipper felt himself start losing, so he kissed back harder. He would not lose this fight to Julien tonight!

Smirking into the kiss, Julien started gently running his paws down Skipper's back in a soothing manner. Said penguin gave a small moan of approval, allowing Julien to take the upper hand. _That cheater! Two can play at that game…_

Placing his flippers on the lemur's sides, he started giving him some light tickles. _That outta even out the score._ Julien broke the kiss and started giggling, giving Skipper the chance to start nuzzling his neck.

"What was with the tickling?" asked the Ring-tail slightly confused.

"You've been topping for awhile now. I'm not going to let you win this time."

It was a sort of unspoken rule they had set up. Whoever got the lead in their foreplay would get the honor of screwing the loser. Naturally since Julien was a King, he felt the need to be the one on top, and found ways to make sure it stayed that way. Skipper would turn to mush if touched in the right places, and the lemur had learned where those places where after their first time.

"Really? I was hoping you had given into my wishes and let me be the dominant one." Skipper rolled his eyes and then shook his head.

"Negative. Prepare to lose the top spot, _my King_," Skipper added with emphasis, knowing Julien loved it when he addressed him by his proper title. Sure enough, a pleasant shiver went down the lemur's body from hearing the sensual way the penguin had said those words.

"How about we make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

"I get to be on top this time, and next time I'll let you be on top. I'll even let you touch the royal feets."

Skipper stopped what he was doing, which happened to be rolling Julien on his back and using a flipper to coax his member out of his sheath, to stare down at him. Even after all the nights they had spent together, Julien would never let him touch his feet.

"What's the occasion?" asked Skipper, a bit skeptical of Julien's offer.

"Your "cute and cuddly" routine got me all exited today. Watching you wag your little tail in the air almost made me jump you and make sweet love makings in front of the childrens." As if to emphasize his point, his member was out and erect from just telling the story. Skipper mildly wondered if Alice the zookeeper had accidentally given Julien an aphrodisiac instead of one of the animals on the mating program. He'd have to investigate that later, right now, he had other business to take care of.

"Are you going to keep your word?" Skipper looked down at him trying to catch any signs that Julien was planning on weaseling out of his promise down the road.

"Well of course I am. I am a King and a King's word is law," stated Julien, as if this was common knowledge everyone should know. Skipper weighed the options in front of him. After careful consideration, he came to a decision.

"Alright, but this is the only time I'll allow it, understood?" To emphasize his point, he grabbed Julien's cock and gave it a good tug. The lemur let out a low moan and leaned into the touch.

"Yes, yes, let's just get on with it."

In a flash, Skipper was on his back, Julien staring down at him with an insatiable gleam in his eyes. He leans in for another kiss, his paw slowly working Skipper to arousal. Skipper moans into the kiss as Julien pleasures his erection with gentle strokes and hard thrusts. _He really means business tonight._

Soon enough Julien stops his ministrations and reaches over for a bottle. The bottle had been sitting on the edge of the blanket all this time, waiting for its time of use. It was a bottle of strawberry lubricant that Skipper had commandeered from-

"Gah! One finger at a time Julien!" Skipper nearly shouted as Julien thrust in two lubed up fingers into his orifice. Julien quickly withdrew one of his fingers, a look of guilt upon his face.

"I'm sorry, I thought after all the times we've done it you had loosened up a little."

Skipper sighed. _How did I ever manage to fall in love with this idiot? I bet even Kowalski couldn't figure this one out._ He gave a chuckle at the thought. He'd been seeing Julien in secret for months now and the strategist still hadn't suspected anything. _Private would sooner figure it out than Kowalski. The boy is an expert when it comes to this love and sensitivity nonsense._

"What are you thinking about, Skippy?" Julien asked shaking Skipper from his thoughts. Apparently Julien had reinserted the second finger and was now scissoring him. Skipper frowned.

"I told you not to call me that."

"Why not? I let you call me _Ring-tail_ all the time."

"Yeah, because it's a cute nickname. Skippy isn't cute."

"It is to me, my silly military penguin." Before Skipper could say something in his defense, Julien silenced him with another kiss. _I hate it when he does that._

The kissing and necking and nuzzling continued until Julien had loosened Skipper enough and withdrew his fingers. Skipper closed his eyes in wait. This part always stung a bit at first. _Ring-tail better not just jam it in there like he did with his fingers or he's going to be in so much trouble after this._

Fortunately for Skipper, Julien did gently push in. His cock burying itself into Skipper bit by bit until he reached the hilt. Julien reveled in the feeling of being one with Skipper, wanting more contact but forcing himself to stay still until his penguin lover gave the go ahead.

A few moments passed. Skipper felt the initial pain start to subside. _A new record. I'm getting better at this._

"I'm ready." No sooner had the penguin said these words that Julien started pulling out and pushing back in, letting out small moans and grunts.

"Oh yes, I missed this. Why can't we be having it every night again?" asked Julien, picking up his pace way to soon. _Damn horny lemur is turning this into a quicky._

"Because (groan) everyone will start to wonder (pant) where we go to every night. I don't want (loud moan) the whole zoo to (pant) find out about this." Julien was thrusting in and out of Skipper at a moderate pace, wanting to make it last but desperate to climax.

"Would that really be so bad? Not everyone gets the privilege of dating a King such as myself."

By this time Skipper was meeting Julien's thrusts and was leaking pre onto his stomach. His breathing was getting rough and irregular. Sweat soaked his feathers as they brushed against fur.

"F-faster," moaned Skipper, and the lemur king happily obliged. He was pounding into the penguin at a frantic rate. He leaned down to hug the penguin and to angle his thrusts differently. He knew he was close to release. So did Skipper. He nuzzled his King's neck and said, "My King, it's only natural you should _come_ first."

That simple sentence sent Julien over the edge. He closed his eyes shut as his vision went white and shouted out Skipper's name. His member was pushed in to the max as he shot his load into Skipper, the sticky white goo a sign that Skipper was his and his alone.

Said penguin waited patiently for Julien to finish so that he could have his orgasm too. Finally, Julien withdrew and started cuddling him.

"Ahem, aren't you forgetting something?" asked Skipper, pointing to his still obvious erection.

"I haven't forgotten, silly penguin. We need to save that for round 2." Skipper's eye twitched.

"Round 2? I never authorized a round 2!" Julien stopped cuddling him and then seemed to go into deep thought. _I don't like this. Anything that lemur cooks up is trouble._ Suddenly a wicked smirk appeared on Julien's maw, a worried shiver running down the penguin's back.

"Julien... what are you-" In an instant the lemur had gone from face level to right above Skipper's cock. Julien stuck out his tongue and gave it a teasing lick. Skipper arched his back and gave off a loud moan. Pleased with the reaction, the lemur continued his work. He took a long slow lick of the underside and then stopped at the tip to lavish it in attention. Skipper was in a state of bliss. All previous thoughts about what Julien might be up to were thrown out the window. The Ring-tail took the tip into his mouth and started suckling. Skipper bucked his hips upward trying to get Julien to take in more of him.

Julien smirked again as he complied with the penguins whishes and started to deep throat him. Skipper was on cloud nine. All that mattered right now was what that lemur was doing with that tongue of his. He could feel himself getting close to release, when Julien stopped and pulled away.

A needy moan came from Skipper, followed after by an angry, "Why the hell did you stop?!"

"I want my second round, or you will be using your flipper for finishing." He played with Skipper's tip with his fingers, enough to bring pleasure but not enough to satisfy.

"That's not fair! This is blackmail!"

"All's fair in war and love making," Julien said with glee. "So what will it be? More fun or go home unsatisfied?"

For the second time that evening, Skipper weighed his options. More sex would mean he would stay up later and waste more energy. _What was on the agenda for tomorrow? Oh right, I scheduled morning drills before the zoo opens. Well I guess I can reschedule that. I have been meaning to give the guys a break._

"Well?" Julien was never the most patient lemur.

"Fine, you get your second round, just for the love of Ike(1) finish sucking me off!" Grinning ear to ear like a madman, the ring-tail goes back to work double time on his much tormented partner.

_Of all the stunts to pull..._ But Skipper couldn't stay angry for long though as Julien's skilled mouth soon had him on the edge of climax.

"I'm..." That was all Julien needed to know before he took Skipper up to the hilt.

"Ah! Julien!" Skipper shouted as he released his seed into Julien's waiting mouth. Julien made sure to catch every drop Skipper gave, mostly because he didn't want any cum on his royal fur. He swallowed the load and then looked down at a disheveled Skipper lying peacefully on the blanket. His own erecting had come back from the teasing he had given the penguin.

He rolled Skipper to his side and started spooning him once more. He pressed his erection to Skipper's backside, letting him know he wasn't off the hook yet.

"I was thinking we do it _normal_(2) style this time."

Skipper sighed in a pleasant way and closed his eyes. _I'm going to be so sore in the morning, but damn it if it isn't worth it._

"Hey Julien."

"Yes?"

"Don't forget to do a reach-around this time."

"Okay."

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1. Ike was the nickname of Dwight David Eisenhower, who served as Supreme Commander of the Allied forces during WWII. His slogan for president was "I like Ike". I figured Skipper would shout out some famous military person whenever he gets flustered.

2. Humans are the only animals that copulate (that's a fancy word for "have sex") face to face. The rest of the animal kingdom does it "doggy style". So to them, that's the normal way to do it.

I hope you liked the chapter. Don't they make a cute couple? ^_^ Next chapter the other penguins will start to suspect something. Plus the appearance of Maurice and Mort!

If you have time please leave a review. I wanna know what you guys think.


	3. Mission Status: Compromised

**Author's note:** Hello ^_^, here's the next chapter to the story. Thank you for all the reviews. I even got my first flame. lol. This chapter changes from three perspectives. First it's Julien's, then it's Kowalski's, and finally Skipper's. Julien has normal thoughts because to him he speaks normally. Now on to the story, but first, the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters, Dreamworks and Nickelodeon do. Am I sad because of that? Not when they give me dialog like this:

Skipper- I have four words to say to you.

Julien- I love King Julien?

Skipper- Yes, I mean no!

XD

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**Chapter 3: Mission Status: Compromised**

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a very happy and satisfied lemur king was sitting on his throne overlooking his kingdom. His loyal Royal Adviser was to his right gently fanning him while annoying bothersome Mort was tied to a rock somewhere. It didn't matter where, so long as he didn't ruin King Julien's good mood.

"You sure do seem to be in a good mood today, Your Majesty," replied Maurice snatching King Julien's attention away from the penguin habitat.

"Hm?"

"Did anything special happen last night?" King Julien's ears perked up and his eyes went slightly wider for a moment before answering.

"What? No, I'm just really excited for tonight's big party." The aye-aye seemed satisfied with the answer and went back to gently fanning his king. King Julien shifted his gaze back onto the penguin exhibit. The penguins were doing what they usually did before the zoo opened for the day. Checking if any field trips were planned for the day, making sure they looked cute enough, hiding away anything classified, yadda yadda. King Julian didn't really care about that. He only paid attention because he wanted to watch him work. But he wasn't with them today.

_This is so boring to watch. Come on Skipper, come on out already._ It was five minutes to opening and there was still no sign of him. King Julien frowned. _Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to do it three times last night. _King Julien pushed that thought out of his head. _No, Skipper is tough, he just needs to build up more stamina for sex. He has enough of it for other stuff._

Just then he noticed Skipper coming up from their HQ to join the others. His waddle was slightly off. A smile worked its way onto his face as he turned to face Maurice.

"That's enough fanning for now, Maurice. I needs to get ready for all my adoring publics." With that he got up from his throne and started stretching. "Where is my boomy-box so I may be getting jiggy with it?"

"It's over here, King Julien!" came the high pitched voice of the annoying one.

"Mort, what did I tell you earlier!?" shouted King Julien down to the source of his aggravation, who had escaped from his bindings and was now near the bouncy house.

"Shut up a little?"

"So why are you still talking to me?"

Mort then smiled and went to fetch the boom-box to bring to King Julien. He saw Maurice roll his eyes but didn't pay much attention to it.

"Hurry up Mort, the zoo will be opening any minute now. I cannot be keeping the fans waiting."

"I'll go help him bring it up here," said Maurice as he jumped down to ground level and walked over to where Mort was slowly dragging the boom-box. From high up on his perch, King Julian watched them with mild interest until his attention once again shifted to the penguin habitat. The penguins seemed to be arguing about something. Or more accurately, the three penguins were arguing with Skipper. King Julien felt his brow furrow in curious anger. _Why are they fighting with Skipper? He's their leader, they should be following his every command._

Just then the shortest penguin noticed King Julien watching them and alerted the others. Within a second they were all starting at him. King Julien's face had gone blank as his eyes instantly went to Skipper's face. He was clearly upset about something. Just then the zoo bell rang signaling the opening of the zoo. Skipper said something to the others and they took their spots lined up in a row. Mort and Maurice placed the boom-box next to King Julian.

"Is something wrong King Julian?" asked his adviser.

"No, I mean yes! You didn't bring me my boomy-box fast enough! Now you both will have to do extra dancy time as punishment!"

"Yay! I like dancing."

"Mort, shut up."

* * *

_Earlier that day..._

Skipper was sleeping soundly as his men watched on from around the table. They had woken up to find out their leader had cancelled their morning drills.

"You guys deserve a break," he had said. "Now go enjoy yourselves. I'll be up a bit later."

This kind of behavior was odd for Skipper. In fact he had been acting rather peculiar for some time now. Rescheduling on a whim, his sudden changes in mood, his increased paranoia and secrecy, and of course the waking up late at least once a week.

Kowalski couldn't put his finger on it but something was definitely wrong, and it needed investigating. After Skipper had gone back to sleep, he got Private and Rico to join him in a meeting to discuss possible reasons for their leader's behavior. And so there they sat, worried about what he could be keeping from them.

"Do you really think Skippah is keeping something from us, K'walski?" asked Private, clearly the most concerned over their sleeping leader.

"I wish that wasn't the case, but the facts clearly indicate that something is making Skipper act this way. Now, I've compiled a list of possible causes for his behavior that I will now read." Kowalski picked up his notebook and flipped to a specified page showing of a crudely done drawing. "Likely scenario number one: Skipper has been replaced by a clone sent here by the evil Dr. Blowhole to steal my genius inventions so he can conquer the world!"

The other two just stared at him.

"What, it's possible. 57.8% possible to be precise."

Rico gave a sarcastic, "Ahuh" and Kowalski moved on to his next theory.

"Okay, scenario number 2, Skipper has acquired super powers and has become a late night crime fighter, fighting villainy and evil as, Mr. Tuxedo."

The other two gave Kowalski another incredulous stare. "Oh come on, it explains everything! He's tired from fighting crime, his moods fluctuate because of all the horrors he's seen on the job, and he reschedules training so he can go fight crime or he's unsure if he can hide his powers from us."

Private spoke up. "Yes, well, that's a nice explanation, but don't you think we would have heard something on the news about a superhero penguin?"

"Alright, fine, what do you guys suggest is wrong?" asked Kowalski exasperated at having all his hard thought out scenarios rejected.

Private lowered his head. "I dunno..."

"Julien," muttered Rico.

"Julien?" said Kowalski and Private in unison. They were both confused as to what he had to do with Skipper acting weird, and why Rico would even suggest it. In the background Skipper gave what sounded like a contented sigh. All three penguins turned to look at him, making sure he hadn't woken up. After a few moments passed, they turned their attention back to Rico for an explanation. He then regurgitated a rolled up piece of paper onto the table. Rico unrolled it and handed it to Kowalski.

"This is...the treaty that Skipper and Julien signed half a year ago."

"Ahuh," said Rico in confirmation. The paper had no words as penguins couldn't read or write, so it used drawings instead. It was a contract stating that they would help out King Julien whenever he was in trouble in exchange for him not partying at all hours of the night without an advanced notice to zoo residents. It also had other provisions like no more using the skunks for evil schemes or declaring Jungle Law.

"So, you think Julien is forcing Skipper to do something because of this treaty?" asked Kowalski after looking down at the very bottom of the contract where there were a flipper and paw print. Rico nodded his head.

"So then Skippah doesn't really go play cards with Julien every week? He goes and has to do whatever Julien wants?" Private asked horrified.

"It would appear so. This fits into scenario 25 and makes perfect sense. In fact, he did act strange when he came back from having it signed..."

Private's eyes widened considerably. "Does this mean he's been hiding this from us for half a year?"

They all thought back on the last six months and realized that Skipper had been acting strange all that time, it had only been plainly visible for the last three weeks. A wave of guilt hit the three for failing to notice the suffering of their leader.

"But...why would Skippah do this? Why not tell us?" asked Private. He seemed hurt that Skipper didn't think he could be trusted with his secret.

"He most likely didn't want us worrying about him. He wanted to shoulder this burden on his own. He would deal with Julien's obnoxiousness so that the rest of the zoo didn't have to. Truly we are not worthy of his selfless leadership!" proclaimed Kowalski with fiery passion.

"We can't let him do it anymore. We have to tell him we'll find a way to handle Julien so he doesn't have to anymore."

The other two agreed. They would talk to Skipper as soon as he woke up. Rico swallowed the contract and they went up top to prepare for the day. Private stopped to look back at Skipper before following the other two. Kowalski noticed this and knew what Private was thinking.

_How are we going to talk to Skipper about this?

* * *

_

Skipper woke up with a slight pain in his lower back region. _Ugh, three times. THREE FREAKING TIMES! I'm going to kill that lemur first chance I get._ He gently got out of his bed and took a look around HQ. _No one's here. They must have gone top side already._ A look at the clock on the wall showed three minutes until opening time. _I better get my tail feathers in gear or I'm going to be late!_

He saw the others getting things ready for opening. Private was checking his reflection and making cute faces, Kowalski was looking over his notes, and Rico had just finished swallowing what appeared to be a DVD case. He waddled over toward them, trying not to let the pain in his backside force him to waddle oddly.

"Good morning boys, I see you all managed to get ready without me," he smiled at them. The three turned to him with mixed expressions. Private looked nervous and upset. Kowalski was anxious and jittery. Rico, well, he was the calmest but there was still a sense of concern radiating off of him.

"What's the matter with you three? You look as if you've been sentenced to a trip to the vet." He still got no response. He shifted his gaze between the three of them. "Well, what's wrong? Come on, out with it."

"Well you see, Skipper... it's just that..." Kowalski tried to explian.

"We know about you and Julien," said Private in a timid voice.

The whole world seemed to stop the moment those words came out of Private's beak. Skipper's eyes bugged out and his entire body stiffened. _How did they find out? Did they follow me? How much did they see? What do they think of me? Who else knows? What's going to happen now?_

In the calmest voice he could muster, he asked "How did you find out?" The three look at each other and then Kowalski spoke.

"Well you've been acting weird all month so we figured something had to be wrong."

_I knew I shouldn't have indulged in Ring-tails wishes and just done it whenever he got horny!_

Kowalski continued. "The mood swings, the sleeping in, no longer being able to keep to a schedule, and the weekly meetings with Julien. It's obvious what you've been up too."

Skipper looked down at the ground. So they found out. Next will come the barrage of questions about the relationship.

"You don't have to do anything for him, Skippah," said Private stepping forward. Skipper raised his head angrily.

"What if I _**like**_ doing it?" The other three looked at him with surprise.

"Then let us help you out. You shouldn't have be Julien's slave just so the rest of the zoo can be at peace." Private didn't like it when Skipper was upset.

"Huh?" said a confused Skipper.

"That's right, whatever Julien is forcing you to do because of the treaty, we'll gladly endure with you." Kowalski added. Rico nodded in agreement.

_They don't know me and Julien are a couple. They think he's making me do something for him._ Using some quick thinking, he seized on their misconception.

"No, I agreed to the treaty, so it's my cross to bear. I don't want you guys getting dragged into this too."

"But Skippah, we want to help you. Can't you see what Julien is doing to you? We don't even know what he's doing to you and we know it's bad!" Private pleaded.

"No you don't! This is none of your business so just drop it! I don't want to hear any more about this!"

"But Skippah..." Private was on the verge of tears.

"Private is right, we can't let you keep going on like this." Said Kowalski with a forceful tone. Skipper narrowed his eyes at him and the taller penguin backed off a bit.

"Listen up because I'm only telling you guys this once. Julien is not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do. What we do is classified and it's going to stay that way. I know you're worried about me but there's no reason to be. I can handle this myself." And with that Skipper hoped to end the conversation. All three had gone quiet.

"Are you sure Skipper?" asked Kowalski.

"Yes, contrary to what you believe, Julien does not have me on a leash."

"So how come he's looking at us angrily right now?" asked Private looking off into the distance. They all turned at looked at the lemur. His angry expression melted away and turned blank. His eyes were focused primarily on Skipper. Just then the zoo bell rang. He broke eye contact and turned back to face his comrades.

"We'll talk about his later. We have a job to do." The lined up and waited for the first zoo guests to reach their habitat. Off in the distance he could hear Julian yelling at his subjects over something. _Well at least I'm not the only one having a bad day then._ A second thought crossed his mind. _What do I come up with to fix this mess?_

He sighed. "Remember boys, cute and cuddly."

* * *

Well another chapter done, and with no real idea as to where it's headed. I just sat down and wrote what came to mind. What's next then? That I do have planned XD A flashback to what Skipper told the others on the night he and Julien first kissed, plus some Christmas time flirting (that means the story is currently set in late May). Also, Marlene finally shows up. I know, her first appearance in the story and it's in a flashback. Go figure. Remember to leave a review if you have the time.


	4. Intel Report 1: The Secret Santa Fiasco

**Author's note: **Hello again. It seems like I always update this story once a month. Well at least you get consistency from me : This is a really long chapter this time. Ten pages long in Microsoft Word. And it's still only one third to one half of the flashback. The next part will come out earlier since I have it planned out and I want it released before Christmas. The first part has no perspective, the second one is Private's, the third one Julien's, and the final one Marlene's. I never really explained the way I did them, so I'll take the time to do it now. It's still written in 3rd person, but the writing style is influenced by one of the characters. Julien's perspective will refer to Mort as annoying if he even bother's to acknowledge his presence. Marlene on the other hand will refer to Mort as cute. I hope nobody thought that I hated Mort in the last chapter. I thought it would be fun to kind of let the character's personality slip into the writing so you can better grasp what they're feeling without me having to directly state it or going into 1st person. Now let's get back to the story...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters, but maybe Santa will give them to me for Christmas :D

* * *

**Chapter 4: Intel Report 1: The Secret Santa Fiasco**

As he made his way back to the penguin habitat, the cold winter air clung to his feathers causing him to unwillingly quicken his pace. For being an Antarctic animal, Skipper didn't like the cold. He surveyed the small distance left between him and his destination. The light from the lamp posts and Christmas lights casted a glow onto the freshly fallen snow, making it look like the rainbow snow cones they always got in summer. The lamp posts were also decorated with wreathes and there was tinsel on some of the exhibit fences. Several of the animals had also decorated their habitats, making sure not to go overboard and attract the attention of the humans.

Skipper had taken the long way around Marlene's habitat. The shortest distance between HQ and the zoo storage room would lead him between the otter and lemur exhibits. He did not want to be anywhere near King Julien at the moment, his mind still a mess desperately trying to make sense of what had happened. Turning the corner and laying low, he slowly made his way to the edge of the otter habitat fence and peaked his head out into the central square. In front of him was his target, but just a few meters beyond was King Julien's throne. It was elevated and had an aerial view of the entire zoo. Upon seeing it empty, Skipper let out a sigh of relief. Still ever vigilant about a surprise appearance by the ring-tail, he double checked his surroundings one final time before dashing to safety and warmth.

* * *

_It's the most perfect time of year. A holiday that celebrates peace and love on Earth. Everyone is filled with joy and happiness. If only it could last all year. And why not? Christmas cheer would make the whole world a better place. I can't wait for Skipper to come back so we can start finalizing our Christmas plans._ Private was practically humming with glee as he finished knitting himself a new Christmas stocking. Rico had accidentally set fire to the last one. It was okay though, Private had forgiven him, and this new stocking was even nicer than the last one.

Everyone was in the Christmas spirit. Only 10 days were left before the big day. They had already decorated the HQ with lights, stringed popcorn and a new experimental type of Christmas tree Kowalski had invented. It kept catching on fire though. I guess it was actually Kowalski's fault that Private's stocking got burned. Rico had only left the stocking on the ground by the tree. Speaking of which...

"Not again! Rico, fetch some water, quick!" Kowalski yelled as his tree caught fire for the third time. Rico calmly waddled up to the tree and regurgitated several bucketfuls of water onto it. It fizzled out and gave off small streams of smoke. Rico turned and grinned at Kowalski saying, "Prepared."

Kowalski frowned at Rico's statement and went to check on the tree. "I just don't understand it. There's no reason for it to be bursting in to flames like that."

By this time Private had finished his knitting and had waddled over to join in on the conversation. "Perhaps we should just get a normal tree like always?"

"Nonsense, my invention is vastly superior to any normal tree you could find. Its needles don't fall off, it doesn't decay, it's eco-friendly, and it's flame retardant." At the mention of the word "flame", the top of the tree caught fire. Rico quickly doused it.

"...See, no fire damage at all," Kowalski replied, although it was evident his ego was bruised. Just then, the sound of the hatch being opened could be heard. All three looked up to see their leader climbing down the steps. Private was the first to speak.

"Hello Skippah, how did the meeting with Julien go?" Skipper didn't turn around. It was strange that he didn't say anything. He would have greeted them by now.

"Skippah?"

"It went...well. I got him to agree to sign it..." The way Skipper said it sounded like he had just been handed a humiliating defeat. Wasn't it a good thing that Skipper got Julien to sign the treaty?

"Is something the matter, Skippah?" Private asked worriedly. Slowly, Skipper turned from the wall and looked at his teammates. He had a neutral expression on his face, and it was hard to figure out what he was thinking.

"Nothing major, I just had to adjust the deal a bit to get Julien to sign it."

"Compromise is a major part of negotiations. I trust you got the better end of the bargain," Kowalski said. "So what did you two agree to in the end?"

Skipper seemed to have glanced nervously around the room and hesitated a moment before answering, but that couldn't be right. _I'm probably just imagining things. This is Skipper, what does he have to be nervous about? I mean, besides needles..._

"Ring-tail agreed to everything. In exchange he's going to cook up something for me to do to for him."

"Was that really a wise decision? What if he makes you give him a sponge bath?" Kowalski shuddered at the thought.

"No, I made it clear that it had to be something non-gross and that it would only be temporary. Our protection services will be more than enough payment for him to adhere to a party schedule." Giving a small sigh, Skipper took out the document he and Julien had yet to sign and handed it to Rico. "Here Rico, make sure to keep it safe until we can sign it and notarize it."

"Yes sir!" Rico said as he swallowed it in an instant. Skipper walked over to the table and took a seat, the others going over to join him. "Do we have anymore fish eggnog1 left? Today was pretty hectic and I need something to unwind with."

"There should be some left in the fridge," Private said as he got up and went over to it. He pulled open the door and took a look inside, finding the carton near the front. Taking it out and closing the fridge door, he grabbed a cup and made his way toward Skipper. He set the cup down in front of him and started pouring what remained in the carton, a smile on his beak.

"Here you go Skippah, I'll get started on another batch if you want some more."

"No, we can make more tomorrow. We need to go over our Christmas agenda tonight," replied Skipper after taking a large gulp of his drink. He set his cup down and looked across the table to where Kowalski was sitting. "Kowalski, schedule."

"Well we are scheduled to go Christmas shopping tomorrow, but Marlene has informed me that her secret meeting in 3 days involves presents and that we should postpone it until then."

"Hm... I dunno, I trust Marlene but the longer we wait, the more "crazy Christmas rush shoppers" there'll be. It's going to make staying outta sight more difficult." Skipper was deep in thought about what to do.

"Maybe we should wait. I'm sure whatever Marlene's got planned will bring a smile to the whole zoo." Private happily looked at Skipper and Skipper felt himself give a small smile.

"Okay, we'll postpone the Christmas shopping, but then what are we going to do tomorrow?" Happy to answer Skipper's question, Rico spit up a chainsaw and pointed to the tree.

"New tree."

"There's nothing wrong with the tree just because it has a.... _slight_ tendency to catch on fire," replied Kowalski indignantly. Just then the entire tree suddenly burst into flames for a second before burning itself out. "Okay, maybe we do need a new tree..." All the pine needles then fell to the ground and the tree bark split into a thousand different pieces, leaving nothing but spontaneous self-lighting firewood.

"Okay then, it's decided. We go get a new tree first thing in the morning. Continue reading the schedule, Kowalski."

* * *

Everyone was gathered at the zoovenir shop waiting to find out why the otter had asked them to be there. It was boring really. None of the other animals ever came when Julien scheduled meetings anymore. Why was the otter so special? He only came because he heard that it had something to do about presents. _Maybe she's going to convince the others to celebrate the one true holiday that is Julianuary instead of this "Chrisymass" nonsense. Yes, I knew my charms would win her over. I am irresistible after all._

Feeling content with his logic, he turned to see Skipper and his followers enter the room. He started feeling his good mood slip away. _Oh, right. I'm irresistible except to him._ Skipper had avoided King Julien ever since they had their kiss. Julien had walked over the following morning to grace them with his presence, but they weren't there. They had gone to get a new Christmas tree, but when they came back, they had locked all the doors and hatches, so Julien couldn't help them decorate it right. The next day wasn't any better. He tried looking for the penguin everywhere but he couldn't find him. It was as if Skipper had disappeared. He had asked his teammates where he was, but they all gave different answers. It was evident even to Julien that Skipper was avoiding him. He didn't even bother looking yesterday.

"Your Majesty?" asked a voice, snapping him out of his thoughts. King Julien turned to the aye-aye and asked, "Yes Maurice?"

"Are you okay? You seem a little... I dunno, out of it."

"I'm fine. I grow impatient waiting for this meeting to start. I am having other things to be doing." Slowly his gaze drifted back to Skipper, who was busy talking to Marlene. _Hmph, why is he talking to her rather than me? I'm much more entertaining that she'll ever be._ At that moment, Skipper turned his head in King Julien's direction and gave him a glare that was none too pleasant. Definitely not one you would give a king. Marlene, who was still in conversation, stopped for a moment to see what had gotten Skipper so upset. Her eyes caught sight of King Julien with a questioning look on his face that clearly said "what did I do?". She looked back and forth between Skipper and the king, her own face equally questioning. She got Skipper to turn away and started talking to him again. There was too much noise to be able to hear everything they were talking about, but King Julien could tell it involved him.

_Why is Skipper so angry at me? He keeps telling me I'm too self-centered and the one time, or twice, I grace him with a royal kiss, he freaks out! I was hoping he would be different... not like the others..._

"King Julien, you look sad. I will cheer you up!" said the ever annoying Mort as he clung to Julien's right leg.

"Maurice," King Julien commanded and the aye-aye went over and gently extracted the annoyance from the royal leg. Just then, a voice was heard.

"Excuse me, if I could get everyone's attention, I'd like to start the meeting."

* * *

The Zoovenir shop was full to the brim with zoo animals. Everyone was there, except for the penguins and Pinky the flamingo. Marlene patiently waited for them to arrive and was happy to spend the time talking with everyone.

_This is so great! I can't wait to tell everyone my idea. They'll love it!_Marlene turned around and spotted Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private walk into the room. _Oh, they're here! I'd better go say hi._ She quickly made her way over to them and gave them a smile.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it. I was starting to worry Skipper didn't think my meeting was important enough to attend."

"Nonsense Marlene, we just had some last minute training to do."

"Sorry for being late though," said Private. He was always very polite.

"That's okay, we still have to wait for Pinky though. When he gets here we can start the meeting." Marlene looked at the clock on the wall. "But if he isn't here in 5 minutes we'll have to start without him."

"Just what is this meeting about exactly?" asked Skipper. He was always one to ask questions, but never one to give many answers. Marlene decided to tease him about it.

"I'm afraid that information is classified for a few more minutes Skipper. You understand." The look she got was priceless. He was clearly unsatisfied with her response. Marlene had to use all her strength to keep from laughing.

"What's so funny?" asked Skipper. Apparently she didn't have enough strength to keep from giggling.

"Oh nothing. Just be patient Skipper. I'm sure you're going to love my idea!"

"That remains to be seen..." Skipper didn't finish his sentence as he had turned his head started glaring.

"Hey, you've got to give me a little more credit than that. Skipper?" At first Marlene had though he was just glaring off into the distance because of what she said, but when she turned her head, she saw that he was actually glaring at Julien. _Why is Skipper looking at Julien like that? Did they get into another argument with each other?_ The look on Julien's face didn't match Skipper's. If anything, it looked confused as to why Skipper was even angry at him in the first place. After glancing back and forth between the two of them, Marlene decided enough was enough.

Shifting Skipper's gaze away from Julien and back to her, she asked in a low voice, "What was that all about?"

"It's nothing. Just a spat between me and the ring-tail."

"He didn't look like he was angry at you. In fact, he even looked a little _guilty_."

"Hah, as if _His Majesty_ could feel guilt. That lemur is nothing but trouble with 10 foot tall megaphones attached." Skipper was very upset. Julien had only managed to get Skipper this mad twice before. Whatever Julien did this time, it must have been bad.

"So what did he do?" asked Marlene, even though she partly knew Skipper wouldn't tell her. But you never know, maybe this time Skipper would trust her enough to tell her the whole story.

"Sorry Marlene, it's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know." Or maybe not. Marlene let out a sigh. _Keeping things bottled up isn't healthy. Skipper is far too secretive for his own good._

"Well work something out, don't worry your pretty little head over it so much," Skipper said with a smirk.

"Well, okay, if you're sure..."

"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Pinky's here now," alerted Private, pointing to the late arrival standing by the door. Marlene felt anticipation rush through her veins as the moment to announce her idea had finally come.

"Yes, now we can finally start!" Marlene climbed up onto the counter and in the loudest voice she could muster, shouted, " Excuse me, if I could get everyone's attention, I'd like to start the meeting!" Half the room went silent but the other half kept on talking. "Um, hello? Can I get some quiet please?" Still they continued talking.

"Rico, air horn!" Rico quickly threw up an air horn and passed it to Skipper. A loud sound filled the room stopping all conversation and causing some animals to put their hands over their ears.

"Now that I've got everyone's attention, the lady has something to say."

"Thank you Skipper. Now I know you're all wondering why I asked you to come here today." Marlene looked around the room for any signs of wonderment. Finding none, she continued. "Well, with Christmas coming up, I had this great idea that we could all do-"

"Celebrate Julianuary instead and give me tons of presents?" Marlene turned to look at the source of the interruption with an annoyed expression.

"No Julien, we're not celebrating another one of your holidays. King Julien Day was enough."

"What are you saying? You can never have enough holidays celebrating my greatness."

"Can it ring-tail or you won't get to celebrate your next birthday," warned Skipper. Julien got strangely quiet after that.

"Anyway, I thought that since some animals sometimes get left out of getting presents on Christmas, we could do a Secret Santa drawing!" Marlene waited, her eyes lit up with Christmas cheer, expecting to hear the animals praise her idea. Nothing came. The stared at her like she had just explained nuclear physics. "What, don't you guys like it?"

"Not to burst your bubble Marlene, but wouldn't drawing a Secret Santa defeat the purpose of him being secret?" asked Kowalski as he took notes.

"No, not a drawing like a picture, I meant a drawing like a raffle," Marlene explained. A chorus of "Oh" could be heard from everyone.

"What's a Secret Santa then?" asked Private.

"What's a Santa?" asked Julien. Everyone in the room turned to look at him. "What? Did I speak something weird?"

"You don't know who Santa is?" asked Skipper with disbelief.

"Of course not, we lemurs celebrate Julianuray, the holiday that gives testament to my heavenly birth-"

"Someone explain to Ring-tail who Santa is before he goes New Testament on us." Julien didn't appreciate being interrupted, but decided not to continue his monologue.

"Oh, oh, oh, me! I can do it!" volunteered Private with his flipper high in the air. "Santa is a jolly old man dressed in red who flies around the world in his sleigh delivering gifts to all the good little children of the world."

"Phil says Santa manages to deliver all the presents in a single night despite the fact he's a fat man with a belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly," said Mason, one of the two zoo chimpanzees translating for the other who was mute.

"The sheer math of it all still alludes me, but if I wasn't sure Santa was real, I would say he didn't exist," Kowalski said, scribbling down several complicated math formulas.

"He lives in the North Pole were his elves make toys in his workshop," said Ted the polar bear. "I have an uncle who actually visited him once."

"Santa used to be based in the South Pole with us penguins until those no good North Poler reindeer lured him away with their cheap labor and free Canadian healthcare." Skipper said in a venomous tone. He was seething at the thought of the injustice the penguins had faced centuries ago.

"I dunno Skippah, I've heard that some of Santa's reindeer are really beautiful..." Private started daydreaming about flying through the night skies alongside a lovely female reindeer. They were laughing and sharing a smile as they navigated Santa's sleigh to their next destination. They slowly moved closer together to share a kiss when Skipper waddled over to him in a flash and smacked him hard, ending his fantasy.

"Get a hold of yourself man! You're a penguin! Penguins do NOT associate with those North Polers!"

"Sorry Skipper, it won't happen again," said Private in small and dejected voice.

"I must say this "Santa" intrigues me. All Julianuary has is the Red Knight Goblin, who pummels us with rocks, and taunts us with his horrible laugh!"

"Okay, now that we all know who Santa is, let's get back on topic. A Secret Santa is someone who gives a present to someone else secretly. You put names written on a folded piece of paper into a container and then randomly pick one. Whoever you get, you have to get a present for. You write the person's name on the present, but not your own, and then you put it in a center pile with everyone else's present. We hand out the gifts, and everyone who participated gets one, but you never know who gave it to you, and the person you got the gift for never knows you got it for them either."

After her explanation, Marlene finally got the reaction she was looking for. The zoo animals seemed to think it was a great idea. There was a lot of exited chatter going on. "Now, we're going to have to choose a date to do the gift exchange on, and we'll have to go over what qualifies as a gift."

"Uh, I have a question," replied Julien. "Can I chose myself? I know I've been wanting this really comfy seat cushion for my kingly throne and I think I am deserving it because, let's face it, I'm the king and I-"

"No you can't chose yourself, you have to pick at random like everybody else!" yelled Skipper at Julien.

"Technically Skipper, he does have a small chance of randomly picking himself," stated Kowalski as he did the math.

"Is that allowed?" Skipper asked Marlene.

"Well, technically, yes. But there's plenty of us here to make sure that possibility doesn't happen." Marlene then proceeded to take out a coconut bowl with slips of paper in it. "Now, I've already drawn everyone's picture onto theses little slips of paper. Everyone come up and take a slip of paper one at a time. Make sure no one sees who you got."

"Oh, me! I am to be going first! The king always goes first!" Julien jumped onto the counter and jammed his paw into the bowl. "I'm sure the Sky Spirits will make it so I am getting myself." Marlene just stared on in bewildered amusement.

"Just make sure you don't look at the bowl while you're choosing," she reminded him and used a paw to turn his head sideways. After about 5 seconds of Julien rustling all the papers in his blind search to find his picture, the lemur finally settled on one. He carefully took it out of the bowl and brought it close to his face before opening it. His excited face quickly fell once he had opened the paper and saw who he got. He stood there for a moment or two before he quickly tossed the paper aside and folded his arms in a huff.

"I want another try."

"You only get to try once," Marlene informed Julien.

"Yes, but I am the king so I get to pick as many as I want." By this time Skipper had jumped onto the counter as well and approached Julien.

"Listen ring-tail, either you get a present for whatever sorry animal you happened to pick," Skipper bent over and picked up the paper before he slapped it onto Julien's chest. "Or we exclude you from this activity, comprende2?"

"How dare you tell the royal king what to do?! This is an outrageousness!"

"The only _outrageousness_ here is your attitude!" Everyone one in the room just looked on as the argument between Skipper and Julien escalated.

"ME?! You're the one who's been ignoring me like a fossa with rabies ever since we k-" Skipper tackled Julien onto the countertop so fast that if you had blinked you would have missed it. Marlene gasped and dropped the coconut bowl she was carrying. Slips of paper scattered across the countertop. Skipper had Julien pinned beneath him, a death glare in his eyes. He leaned down and whispered something to him, after which Julien nodded his head in agreement, fear evident in his eyes. Skipper got up and took a look around. Marlene was looking at him with worry and he made his way over to her. He reached down and picked up the discarded papers and bowl and handed them back to her.

"Sorry for the interruption Marlene, it won't happen again." He had his usual smug smile on his face, but something was off about it. It seemed forced. There was also an awkward silence in the air as Julien made his way over to his companions, silently said something to them, and then walked quietly out the door. _This is terrible. I wanted this to be a fun activity, not something that caused a fight. I have to do something to help fix this._

"I'll go next Marlene," Skipper said as he reached into the bowl.

"Huh? Oh, right." Marlene could tell Skipper was trying to lighten the mood and keep the rest of the evening from going down in flames. He quickly selected one and took a look at it before he instructed Kowalski to go next. Then one by one the rest of the animals came up and took one.

"Oh, I hope I get King Julian!" shouted Mort with excitement when it was his turn. His big bright adorable eyes teaming with glee at the prospect of getting a gift for his idle. Marlene lowered the bowl so he could reach in and pick a paper with ease.

"Aww, I got-" Mort began but Marlene stopped him.

"Shhh! It's a secret, remember?"

"Oh yeah, sorry." Next up was Maurice, giving Marlene a chance to talk to him.

"Is Julien going to be okay?"

"I dunno, he looked really depressed. He just old us to pick a paper and come straight back to our habitat." He took out a paper and looked at it before he headed out the door with Mort. Animals kept picking papers until finally only Burt the elephant was left. But there was only one paper left for him to choose! _That can't be right, I haven't picked someone yet..._

"Hold on, there's a paper missing." Marlene started searching the countertop for the piece of paper that Skipper had missed picking up. It wasn't there. "I can't seem to find it."

"Boys, search party, double time!" Skipper commanded and the penguins began searching the area for the missing paper.

"According to my calculations, due to the height of the drop and the density of both the countertop and the coconut, and accounting for the aerodynamic properties of folded paper, it's most likely location is behind the counter." Following Kowalski's math, Private went and checked.

"Here it is, just like Kowalski said." Private picked the paper up and then handed it to Marlene. "Here you go."

"Excellent work Kowalski," complimented Skipper. Marlene put the paper into the bowl and mixed them up before heading toward the door where Burt was. Being an elephant meant that he couldn't go into most buildings.

"Okay Burt, it's your turn now."

"Oh boy, oh boy, I hope whoever got me gives me peanuts." He used his long trunk to pick up a paper and with expert skill, also used his trunk to open it.

"So now I get to see who I'll be giving a present to and then we can talk about some additional rules. I'll go tell the lemurs about them later." She picked up and opened the last piece of paper to reveal who she would be a Secret Santa to. On it was a picture of none other than Julien. _Well, this'll be interesting...

* * *

_

1. I found it odd that they would drink eggnog since it's made with eggs and penguins lay eggs, but since they drank it in the 2005 Christmas special, I figured it was okay. If they made their own eggnog, they could just as easily add fish to it.

2. Comprende is Spanish for understand.

Skipper was so mean in this chapter D: He must have some emotional issues to work out. Luckily, Marlene is going to do just that! Next chapter involves the penguins Christmas shopping, Marlene acting as a peer mediator, and of course the Secret Santa gift exchange. Maybe even a guest appearance by Roger the alligator and Max the (moon)cat.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's officially the Christmas season. And Christmas is a time of giving, so be sure to give me a review :)


	5. IR 2: The 5 Stages of Holiday Shopping

**Author's note: **I am so sorry I haven't updated this story. It's been three months overdue for an update. Please forgive me. I made it extra long to make up for it. It's part two of the Christmas flashback, and despite being over 10,000 words in length, it's still not the whole flashback. The third and final part will be the next chapter. And then we can go back to the main story, which has been eclipsed by this incredibly long back-story. There's too many perspective changes in this chapter to list. I'm sure you can figure out who is influencing which part. Rico's perspective has him thinking in normal sentences. When he talks to the other penguins, they understand him and Rico's complex sentences will be in italics.

Also, someone asked why Julien didn't remember Santa in the last chapter. I'm going by what the creators of the show said in that PoM is set in a parallel universe to the Madagascar movies. So I just make references to them. Oh Julien, you really are the naughty list. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own them. I'm not rich like Dr. Blowhole.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Intel Report 2: The 5 Stages of Holiday Shopping**

Julien was pacing around in his habitat that morning when Marlene paid him and the other lemurs a visit. She wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened yesterday. They also needed to know the rest of the rules for the Secret Santa exchange. _I wonder if Julien still wants to participate. After the fight he and Skipper had, he may have changed his mind. He wasn't very big on giving things to others in the first place._

"Your Majesty, please calm down. It's not that important what you get him. You shouldn't give him anything at all after what he did to you last night." Maurice's voice could be heard as Marlene walked closer to habitat. She slowed down her pace and started listening in. _What are they talking about?_

"Don't you think I am knowing that? But if I don't get that stupid bird a present, then I won't get one either! And a king must get many presents! Now help me think up something that's not that hard to get but nice enough so I can rub his beak in it later. But not too nice! I can't have his present outshine mine."

"Well it would help if we knew who your Secret Santa was and what they were planning on giving you." Marlene started feeling guilty about eavesdropping. _So they were talking about the Secret Santa exchange. Julien is still going to do it, even though it's for all the wrong reasons. But now I know who he got and that's against the rules._

"How about a hug? I hug from King Julien would be the best Christmas gift ever!"

"Mort! How many times must I be saying this? No touching the royal feet! Especially when it's this cold!"

Marlene walked in seeing Mort hugging Julien's legs in bliss while Julien was furious. Maurice was watching them both while sitting on the royal bouncy. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." All three of them turned to look at her. Julien was the first to speak up.

"Not really. We were going over your gift "giving" activity." While he was talking he was busy trying to get Mort to stop hugging him. Mort let go and Julien rudely kicked him away.

"Well that's good, because that's what I came over for. You guys left before I had a chance to explain the rest of the rules."

"There are more rules?" asked Julien with a frown.

"Yes, and they're very important so pay close attention. First of all, this is a _Secret Santa Exchange_, meaning you keep it a secret. From everybody." Julien and Maurice share a look before turning their attention back to Marlene. "Second, any gift you give must be well thought out. Don't just get them anything you find or that you like. It has to be something _they_ like or need. Handmade gifts are allowed, but make sure you put effort into them. Something that took you time to make. The gifts also have to be something that can be wrapped. So no hugs, kisses, or any IOUs for favors."

"See Mort, even Marlene says your idea was terrible," Julien told the little lemur.

"I didn't say that," objected Marlene, but was interrupted by Julien.

"So how long do I have to find a present?"

"I was just getting to that. The zoo decided to hand out the gifts on Christmas Eve, December 24th. You have until the 23rd to find or make something. When you have your gift, come to my habitat and I'll give you some wrapping paper and tape. I'll check your name off the list and you'll be welcome to the party."

"Party, there's a party?" asked Julien with excitement as his eyes widened. If there was a party, Julien wanted in on it.

"Yes, we decided to make it a full blown Christmas Party. The penguins thought of it." _Well actually Rico brought it up and Private got really excited over it. Skipper was the one who had to be persuaded into it._ Julien's excitement fizzled a bit after hearing that, and his head turned to the penguin exhibit.

"Maybe he did feel guilty..." Julien said softly more to himself than to the others. Marlene looked over to the penguin habitat too and saw Skipper and his crew walking out and heading toward the zoo entrance. _They must be going Christmas shopping. I hope they don't come back late or else I'll have to postpone my plan until tomorrow._

"Hey Julien, are you doing anything later?" The lemur turned his attention from the departing birds and onto the otter.

"It is depending. Are you asking me out on a date?" he asked. He clasped his paws together and fluttered his eyes on the word "date" while leaning in closer to Marlene.

"No," she flatly replied. "I just want you to come over to my habitat so we can have a nice chat."

"That is sounding like a very boring date to me."

"IT'S NOT A DATE!" yelled Marlene at the top of her lungs. _Calm down Marlene, don't let him get to you. Remember, it's Christmas. A time to bring joy and happiness to others, even to someone like Julien. _"I just want you to come over for a nice _**friendly**_ visit."

Julien was skeptical of the offer and even began to think it over. "I dunno. I'm guessing if I have time I'll swing by." Marlene wasn't satisfied by the response. _What's with him? He can't wait to go on a date with me but he doesn't have the time to talk to me as a friend? No wonder all his "girlfriends" are in Canada. I have to find a way to sweeten the deal._ Then Marlene got an idea.

"Okay then, I'll just give your present to someone else then..." She turned to walk out of the habitat and smiled when Julien quickly shouted out to her.

"Marlene, wait! What is this present you speak of? And how are you daring to give it away?!" _Gotcha._

"Oh, it's just that I was going to give you a present when you came over. My way of saying "thank you for visiting" to you. But if you're not interested..." She paused to look over her shoulder at the lemur king.

"Of course I'm interested. Maurice, do I have anything important to do today?" he turned to his adviser waiting for his answer. Maurice just stared blankly back for a split second before answering.

"Uh...no?"

"Then it's settled. I'll be over for my present-uh, I mean, I'll be over to chat with you later." Not giving Marlene a second more of attention, he began walking over to his throne.

"Actually, I have to set things up so I'll come get you when everything's ready!" She shouted after him. He had jumped up to the area his throne was located at and turned to face the otter.

"That is fine too." He then turned his attention to his subjects. "Mort, Maurice, get up here so you can begin pampering your king!" Mort was more than happy to follow Julien's orders, but Maurice let out a sigh and unwillingly left the comfiness of the bouncy to go serve his king.

"Well at least he's back to normal," mumbled Maurice as he walked by Marlene. Giving one final look at the lemurs, Marlene walked out of the enclosure and made her way back home. _I wonder how upset Julien's going to be when he finds out there's no present. Then again Skipper is kinda his present. _Little did Marlene know how true her words were.

* * *

Skipper was awake by 0600 hours, lying in this bunk and staring up at the ceiling. Normally he would wake up the rest of his teammates too so they could begin their mourning routine, but Skipper needed some time to himself. He got up and sat down at the table, watching the clock as the seconds ticked by. The past few days had been a disaster. Ever since _that incident_ occurred, everything has been off. Skipper instantly regretted thinking about it. The memory of Julien walking up to him and giving him that sweet kiss flashed into his mind.

_It was NOT sweet! It was terrible, nasty, vile, disgusting, gross, and his breath stank! It wasn't even a real kiss at all!_

_"But it was a kiss"_

Skipper cursed himself for letting that stray thought ruin days of denial. He was quite happy pretending the kiss didn't happen at all. The first one was easy to ignore because it had been an accident. It was the second kiss that brought all this torment upon him. It was the day after the kiss that he finally realized how serious things could get. Julien could go tell the whole zoo what happened and there was no knowing what the consequences, be they good or bad, would be. They had gone to pick out a Christmas tree that day and so he had an excuse to lock all the doors and hatches in the HQ when they returned.

"Why are we in lockdown Skippah?"

"Because, Private, I don't want anyone interrupting us while we get everything ready."

They had accepted his reasoning and Skipper was safe for another day. The next morning he had dared to venture out into the zoo in a solo recon mission to see how the zoo was reacting. He was surprised to learn that no one was gossiping about him. No one knew the horrible secret. _Ring-tail kept his mouth shut for once. I could kiss him for it._ Skipper immediately regretted using that expression and promptly slapped himself for it. _No, there were no kisses. THERE WAS NO KISS. We talked. We reached an agreement. That's it. Nothing else happened. We can move on with our lives._

But just as Skipper had gotten some piece of mind, it was quickly taken away from him. He was right by the lemur exhibit when he heard Julien and Maurice just waking up.

"Uh...King Julien..."

"Mnnn, your feathers are so soft."

_Feathers? _Skipper was starting to get an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Can you please let me go? Your, um, _royal parts_ are rubbing against me."

"Mnh, my wha?" Julien sounded like he was still asleep. Skipper couldn't get a good view of where they were from his position, and he was grateful he couldn't.

"What are you *yawn* talking about Maurice?" came the ring-tail's sleepy reply followed by what sounded like purring[1].

"Your Highness, I know it's cold out and you have every right to snuggle up to me for warmth, but I draw the line at you doing it while you're aroused." The purring instantly stopped and an awkward silence hung in the air.

"Oh, so I am." It sounded like ring-tail was wide awake now. Some subtle movement was heard too. "Ehehehe, sorry about that Maurice, I was having a really nice dream about... stuff..."

"Well, keep your "stuff" to yourself. The last thing I want to do is explain the circle of life to Mort." More awkward silence.

"Uh, why don't you start getting breakfast ready while I go greet my penguin subjects?"

"Okay, but is there some reason you're going over there first thing in the morning?"

"No... I mean yes! They didn't let me help them decorate their Chrissymas tree yesterday. If they must have a holiday other than mine, then it must be done the kingly way." _No way am I letting Ring-tail redecorate my decorations._

"If you say so..." Maurice walked away from the ring-tail and into Skipper's line of sight. Skipper quickly moved away and out of view.

"That was a close one, huh Mort?" A snore was the only reply the lemur got. "You know, you're not such a pain in my tail when you are sleeping. You're even kind of cute. But not as cute as me, which goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. You're not as cute as me." _I think I've heard enough of this one sided conversation._ Skipper turned to leave when the lemur's next sentence stopped him cold.

"I wonder if Skipper's feathers are as warm as fur. I've only touched them long enough to know they're soft." Another snore was given as the answer to his dilemma. "You're right Mort, I should go and find out. I'm glad I thought of it."

Skipper stayed rooted to the spot. The information he had just learned was reeking havoc with his mind. _Julien was dreaming about me. Julien wants to know if my feathers are warm. He knows my feathers are soft. How? A dream about me... a dream... dream...one of those dreams. NO NO NO NO NO! This is wrong! This is way wrong! He can't be having those kinds of dreams about me! We're both guys! I have a cock to prove it[2]! Unless he's into that sort of thing..._

A shutter ran down his spine at the thought. _I always knew there was something off with that lemur. Then again this might be a blessing. There won't be any little ring-tail royalty running around the zoo. But I'm still stuck with a love-sick lemur anyway. Love? NO! He's just doing this because he's bored. Yeah, like how he got tired of chasing after Marlene after only two tries. And each try only lasted about five minutes. Yes, that's it. I just have to have him get bored of me, and everything can get back to normal._

He would have continued planning if the lemur he was thinking about hadn't jumped out of his exhibit and started walking towards HQ. Skipper quickly dodged out of sight again and kept watch on his target.

_I can't face him right now. I have to work out a strategy on how to handle this. If only Kowalski were here, he would whip one up in an instant. I'm sure I can come up with something on my own though. Kowalski can't know about this. First things first, I gotta find a way to keep that lemur's mouth shut..._

And so Skipper spent the entire day ignoring the lemur and trying to come up with a plan to deal with him. Needless to say, Skipper did more hiding than planning. That lemur was persistent! Not even finding time to meet with his teammates and instruct them to keep his location secret from the ring-tail worked! By some miracle he was left alone the following day. And so yesterday he thought that Julien had gotten bored of him only to find him mopping about it. And staring at him. What made it ten times worse was that Skipper felt guilty about making the ring-tail sad. The guilt also made him angry. _Why should I be guilty? The lemur needs to read the signs, I'm not interested in him. There's no reason to be interested in him. _

And so Skipper lashed out at Julien hopping to break this new found attraction he had. And it was easy to start an argument with him. The lemur was an egotistical narcissist who thought he was royalty. Sure enough, the ring-tail started acting obnoxious by demanding he be allowed to pick himself at Marlene's Secret Santa meeting. That's when Skipper did something he would later severely regret.

"How dare you tell the royal king what to do?! This is an outrageousness!"

"The only _outrageousness_ here is your attitude!"

"ME?! You're the one who's been ignoring me like a fossa with rabies ever since we k-" That's when Skipper tackled Julien onto the countertop and held him down. The look Julien gave him was one of pure fear. Skipper placed his beak next to one of the lemur's ears.

"If you tell ANYBODY that we kissed, I'll make sure you live to regret it. Comprende?" Ring-tail nodded his head and Skipper let him go. A look around the room showed curious faces wondering what had just happened. He turned to Marlene and his heart sank. _I've really messed up her meeting. I'll have to fix it._

Seeing that she dropped her bowl with the slips of paper, he went and picked them up. As he handed the bowl to her, he forced a smile onto his face.

"Sorry for the interruption Marlene, it won't happen again." He hoped she wouldn't notice. Her attention didn't stay on him for very long. Everyone in the room watched the ring-tail talk silently with his friends before leaving the zoovenir shop. Skipper had to do something fast.

"I'll go next Marlene," said Skipper as his flipper started rummaging through the papers. He picked one and pulled it out. On it was a drawing of Mason. He called over Kowalski to pick the next one and was relieved that the rest of the night went better. At the end Marlene went over some more rules and then asked when everyone wanted to hand out gifts.

"How about we have it on the 20th?"

"No, that's too early."

"I'm good for whenever."

"I suggest the 23rd."

"No, that's a terrible idea. The 22nd is better."

"How about Christmas eve? We can give each other our gifts before the real Santa comes."

The debate lasted for several more minutes before Marlene decided to bring back some sense of order. "Guys guys, it's only going to take about five minutes to hand out all the gifts. You don't have to be so picky with the date." Most of the animals seemed disappointed in hearing this.

"It's only handing out gifts, nothing else?" asked Mason. Marlene shook her head. "That's a shame. It feels like something is missing."

"Party!" yelled a voice. Everyone turned to see who had come up with the suggestion. Ring-tail would have made the same suggestion but he left. Rico stood smiling as if his idea was the best choice of action. Unfortunately, it seemed Private agreed with him too.

"Oh, a Christmas party! That would be wonderful! We can sing carols, open presents, drink eggnog and eat Christmas cookies." Excitement and joy radiated off him and soon spread across the room.

"That sounds like a good idea."

"I could bring peanut brittle."

"It's nice to get together during the holidays, especially at a party."

"Now hold on a minute, are you sure we need to have a party? Just doing the gift exchange would take a lot less time."

"Please Skippah? It will be so much fun and it wouldn't hurt to show a little Christmas cheer." Skipper thought it over for a second.

"Yeah Skipper, show some Christmas cheer," came Marlene's voice. He turned his head to look at the otter and remembered how he was acting earlier. Giving a sigh, he then replied.

"Okay, but it has to be on the 24th. I was going to give you guys the night off as an early Christmas present."

"Yay!" was Private's delighted response. The rest of the animals agreed to the date too. The meeting then came to an end, but before Skipper could walk out with his team, Marlene grabbed his flipper.

"Skipper, can I talk to you alone for a sec?"

"Sure you can. Boys, wait for me outside." The three penguins nodded their heads and then walked out. Marlene walked him to the other side of the zoovenir shop and waited until everyone had left before she spoke to him.

"Can you come to my habitat tomorrow?"

"Well I've scheduled Christmas shopping for tomorrow, but I might be able to come over sometime in the afternoon. Any reason why though?"

"You haven't been yourself lately. I'm a little worried." Skipper frowned.

"Nonsense Marlene, it's just the stress of the holiday season. I'll be fine once it's over."

"Okay, but I still want you to come over. We haven't really talked for a while and the last time I saw you, you barged into my home from the sewer drain and ran off." _I only did that to get away from Julien._

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to come visit." Skipper started waddling off toward the door when he suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Marlene was a few paces behind him. "Anything particular you want to talk about?" he asked without turning his head.

"No, just a nice chit-chat between friends." Something still seemed off, but Skipper doubted Marlene would come up with anything sinister. He pushed the feeling aside and walked into the open air where his team stood waiting, the three of them in conversation.

That was yesterday night. It seemed like another era. Time didn't seem to make much sense anymore ever since that stupid kiss. That stupid kiss that shouldn't exist but now obviously does. Why couldn't it have been insignificant like the accidental kiss? Skipper could easily throw that under the rug and forget about it. But no, the second kiss had to be bold and daring. It had to be done _on purpose._ Skipper let Ring-tail kiss him. _NO! He forced himself on me! I should arrest him as a sexual offender. I did NOT enjoy what he did._

A faint rustling sound was heard from above snapping Skipper out of his thoughts. _Someone must be waking up._ He looked at the clock and saw he had spent the past hour just remembering how his life had turned upside down. Getting up from the table, he faced his men and saw Kowalski rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Okay boys, I've let you rest long enough. It's time to rise and shine and get our Christmas shopping under way."

"What about breakfast?" asked a still sleepy Private.

"We're not leaving right away, but you do have to get out of bed. Everyone, front and center!"

* * *

They left at around eight and headed into the city. As usual they had to stay hidden so no one would see them. They didn't want another Officer X incident to happen. Despite it being very cold, there were plenty of people out and about.

"Drats, I knew we should have left earlier. Kowalski, options." Kowalski took out his notebook and started writing things down.

"Due to the high number of humans in the area, I suggest a subterranean route, specifically the city sewer system."

"Perfect. On my mark we head for the nearest manhole." Skipper raised his flipper and waited for the perfect moment to give the command. After a few seconds of watching the passersby, he found it. "Go go go!" They dived onto their bellies and slid the distance in record time. Rico opened up the manhole cover and they slipped in one by one into the darkness.

"Rico, flashlight." Rico could be heard spitting something up. A beam of light then illuminated the dark sewer tunnel they were in. Skipper held the light to his face before shining it on Private and Kowalski. "Does everyone remember our mission objective for the day?"

Kowalski spoke up. "We are to go down 5th Avenue to the shopping district and then split up and find our individual gifts. We may not leave 5th Avenue and we may not go further than 34th Street. We have two hours to find our gifts and then we rendezvous back at our starting point, which I assume is now this manhole below 59th Street."[3]

"Exactly. We'll head out and go topside at 48th Street before spreading out. Make sure to be extra careful out there." Skipper didn't like handing out solo missions for the entire team. They were only splitting up so they could keep their gifts secret.

Skipper turned his flashlight forward and started walking. Everyone followed close behind, careful to stay on the edges and not fall into the sewer water. Private always found the sewers outside the zoo to be a bit creepy and unfamiliar, but with his friends nearby, he had nothing to worry about. Until he heard the noise. Click click click.

"What was that?" Private looked around trying to find the source.

"What was what?" asked Skipper. Click click click.

"That. Can't you hear it?" Private was starting to get a little nervous.

"Hmm, it's faint. Kowalski, analysis."

"Judging by its low decibel level and the acoustics of this tunnel, I estimate it's 10 meters away and closing. As to what it is, I haven't the foggiest."

"Well then we need to find out what it is. Initiate plan Wallflower." The penguins darted forward toward the sound before hiding in diverting passages and behind the pipes near the ceiling. Private was in a side tunnel looking forward even though he couldn't see much. The flashlight had to be turned off so as not to scare off the source of the approaching sound. _I hope it's not something scary._

"Whatcha doing?" came a voice from behind him. Private's blood ran cold. Slowly he turned around and saw a giant black shadow looming over him.

"SKIPPAH!" The shout rang out through the sewers and all three penguins rushed to the youngest recruit's aid.

"No one is harming one of my men, not even... you?" Somewhere between getting in defense formation and Skipper beginning his heroic dialog, Kowalski managed to turn on the flashlight and shine it to the dark figure. An alligator with a confused look on his face was looking down on them.

"Rogah, is that you?" asked Private. Roger smiled and nodded his head.

"Yep, it's me. So what brings you down to the sewer?"

"We were on our way to go get Christmas presents when we heard a strange clicking noise and decided to investigate," came Kowalski's reply.

"Oh, is it Christmas time already? Living in the sewer looses all track of time."

"Yeah, that's all fine and dandy, but we still don't know what that sound is, and it's gotten louder." Skipper turned his head toward where the noise was coming from and he could start making out a shape. It was small, had four limbs and a tail.

"Oh, it's just you guys. You had me worried there for a sec," said the figure. His voice was familiar.

"Moon cat?"

"I told you, my name is Max." Max stepped forward, his claws making a clicking noise as he walked on the cement.

"So you were the one making the noise." Said Private with relief.

"Yeah, it gets too quiet down here sometimes. The noise adds some atmosphere." He retracted his claws into his paws and walked over to where everyone was. "So what are you guys doing down here besides shouting out names?"

Private felt his face flush. Skipper decided to answer the question this time. "We're out Christmas shopping."

"Is it Christmas already? Wow, time sure does fly by fast."

"You two don't get out much, do you?" asked Skipper sarcastically.

"No, people see me up there and they get all scared."

"I don't need to go up to the surface when there are plenty of mice to catch down here. And there's no animal control to catch you and put you to sleep. Or worse, neuter you." Max's paws immediately moved to his nether regions in a protective manor while his eyes darted left and right.

"Okay, I think we've spent too much time here and have fallen behind schedule. Let's go men." Skipper gave the signal to start moving on.

"It was nice seeing you two again. Sorry we can't stay and catch up." Private waved goodbye to them and then fell in step with the rest of the team.

"Oh, do you know what would be fun Max?"

"Getting ready for Christmas?"

"Oh you read my mind. I'll go make some decorations."

* * *

They arrived at their destination without further delay. Rico opened the manhole cover and they stealthily made their way out onto the street. Skipper and Private then headed south while Kowalski and Rico headed north. Kowalski had gotten Maurice for the Secret Santa gift exchange. He had carefully gone over his options about what to get the aye-aye and had finally settled on a getting him a new blender since the lemur's old one broke and Julien had forced Maurice to make his smoothies by hand. He and Rico walked together until Kowalski neared an appliance store.

"I'm going to stop here Rico. Good luck finding your gift." Rico nodded his head.

"See ya" he said and continued walking. Once Rico had gotten far enough from sight, Kowalski snuck into the store. Appliances from all shapes and sizes were on display, several with Christmas sale stickers on them. _Now to find the blenders..._

The store wasn't that crowded since logically appliances aren't ideal Christmas gifts unless the recipient really needs them. Making his way past the washing machines and driers, he slid on his belly toward the kitchen section. Refrigerators lined a portion of the wall leading to a small kitchen stage display. It had counters, a sink, and even a window with curtains. On the counters were a microwave, toaster, blender, and juicer. _Eureka!_

This made things easier. Having to retrieve a blender still in its original packaging would have complicated matters considerably. Kowalski took a step forward but immediately had to retreat when a human couple started approaching.

"Oh isn't this kitchen beautiful? These are the same kind of counters I want to get."

"We're just here to buy some new plates and a waffle maker. We can redecorate the kitchen after New Years."

"Well I'm going to ask the manager to reserve an order for us. I don't want to go searching all over the city if they sell out."

"They won't."

"Help me find a sales clerk."

"Yes dear."

As the pair walked away, Kowalski quickly jumped onto the counter, grabbed the blender, and dashed away. _Mission successful. Now to get a bag to put this in._ As he headed towards the cash register, the couple came back.

"I'd like you to reserve an order of these counters for us." The sales clerk looked at the counters and noticed something missing.

"Huh, I could have sworn there was a blender on display here a second ago."

* * *

Rico continued walking north. His destination was on 59th Street. On Central Park West. Now, he had a good reason for disobeying Skipper and going off of 5th Avenue. He had gotten Burt and Burt wanted peanuts. Was it his fault that a Whole Foods store was on Columbus Circle instead of 5th?[4] No, no it was not. He would be the first one back to the meeting point anyway so no one would know. When he got far enough from Kowalski, he decided to take the rest of the way by sewer. Crossing the street in broad daylight without being seen was too much of a hassle.

Once he was in the sewer, he picked up the pace to reach his destination as soon as possible. With no humans around, he didn't have to waste time ducking and hiding.

"Did you forget something?" Rico spit up a flamethrower and pointed it at the source of the sound. A terrified Max stared back at him with his paws in the air. "Don't shot! It's me!"

"^%$*% #& me," grumbled Rico as he re-swallowed the weapon. Max just stared at him. _Oh yeah, he can't understand me. I'll just go then._ He turned and continued with his mission. As he took a few steps forward, he heard Max start to follow him.

"So you're done finding your Christmas present already?" Rico didn't need the cat asking questions or following him. It was bad enough he had been spotted. _Maybe if I answer some of his questions he'll leave me alone._

"Uh uh."

"So you're still looking for it?"

"Ah huh."

"Do you know what it is?"

"Peanuts."

"I didn't know penguins ate peanuts." _They don't._

Soon they reached the manhole for 59th Street. Rico would have to make a left to reach Columbus Circle. The cat was still following him. He hoped giving him an annoyed glare would get rid of him.

"...and that's why it's never a good idea to eat peanut butter." Glare. "What? It isn't." _Well that failed. Time for something more forceful._

"Aeh!" Rico's flipper pointed back to where they had walked from. He then pointed to Max and then back to where he first pointed. _If he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say then he really is from the moon._

"Oh, you want me to go away now." His ears drooped as his head turned to the ground, his paws clasped together. Rico would have felt sad for the cat, except he had a minimum requirement for what he considered pity worthy. Max didn't make the cut. _Finally he gets it!_

He smiled and shook his head and he started walking off.

"WAIT! Please! I have to find a present for Roger and I'm afraid of going back up to the surface alone!" The cat had stooped to grabbing Rico's foot and groveling. Pity requirement met. Barely.

"Alright," he grumbled.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" _Ugh, not a hug. I hate hugs I don't start._ Pushing the cat off him, they set off to find presents for their friends.

* * *

Skipper and Private carefully made their way further south along 5th Avenue. They were close to 38th street now. Skipper felt a bit of a thrill evading all the humans. It was like he was in enemy territory and he was keeping to the shadows. The adrenaline and heightened senses causing a rush that drove Skipper wild. Oh how he loved the feeling. It made him forget about everything else in the world. The only thing that mattered to him right now was-

"Um, Skippah?"

"Private! The first rule of stealth is to remain quiet. You remember what happened to Manfredi and Johnson in Peru when they couldn't keep quiet. We had to suck all the venom out with a straw, and even then they didn't have full body control for weeks."

"Yes, well, I was wondering how far you're going to come with me."

_How far? Hm... I guess I got lost in my earlier thoughts. Well any place that sells tea sets will do._ "Just one more street over Private, then you can go off all by yourself. Just don't go past 34th Street."

"I won't, I'm only going to Macy's which is on 34th."[5]

"Private, did you pick that store because of your present or because Santa is there?" Private's eyes broke contact for a moment. _I knew it._

"The present of course Skippah." _Now he's lying to me. He's growing up so fast._

"You do know it's not the real Santa, right? He's busy at work at the...he's busy at work."

"I know, but it's still lovely to go see everything all decorated." _But he's still such a boy._

"Okay, just don't get to close and don't take too long. You have the longest route to take back."

"Oh I won't Skippah. I'll be in and out before you know it."

"I'm counting on it soldier."

* * *

Julien surveyed his kingdom with boredom. The sky was gray. The snow was gray. The rhino was gray. Okay, maybe the last one was always gray, but still. It was a gray day. Or grey. It was also cold.

"I hate this weather. The Sky Spirits in this city must have forgotten to pay the heating bill." Julien wrapped his tail around himself to keep warm. It was 9 in the morning and the temperature hadn't warmed up much. Julien was alone in his habitat. He had sent out Maurice and Mort to find a present for Skipper. He knew he could count on Maurice to find something nice. Mort...well he was just happy that annoying runt was gone.

A cold breeze blew and the king shivered. _I can't take anymore of this! I need warm weather! I am a lemur, not a penguin!_ _Penguin..._ Julien cursed himself for reminding himself of Skipper for the tenth time that morning. _Why do I even care about that stupid penguin? Sure we kissed, but I've kissed other people before. With the same results..._ He sighed. Another cold breeze blew. _I hate this weather.

* * *

_

_Who knew there were so many kinds of tea sets? I mean it's tea! Do you really need diamond studded porcelain to drink plant leaf water from?_ Skipper gave a sigh. He had been trying to decide on a tea set for the last ten minutes. _And I thought it would be a problem sneaking one out. Picking the right one for Mason will take ages!_

Pretty soon Skipper's patience ran out and he decided to settle this using a technique proven to be foolproof.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a lion by the toe, if he dances let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe." Having selected a tea set midway between dirt cheap and insanely expensive, Skipper carried the box as gently and as quickly as he could. _I wonder how Private's doing. I'll have to go check up on him after I finish.

* * *

_

Everything was absolutely beautiful. There was so much Christmas Spirit in the air that you would swear it just said Happy Christmas to you.[6] Lights, tinsel, wreaths, bows, presents, trees, they had everything! Public domain Christmas music floated down from the speakers completing the ideal atmosphere.

_Concentrate Private, you're here to get Marlene's present...and then maybe pay Santa a quick visit. _Private was going to get Marlene a new pillow. _She's had that old one for ages, and an extra pillow is always handy._

The store was packed with people so Private had to be extra careful not to get caught. It was easier said than done. You couldn't take two steps without running into another person. _How am I ever going to get to the Home Decor section?_ As if to answer his question, a pregnant woman with a stroller came by. Her son looked about two and half years old and he was trying to undo the straps.

"Leave those alone Jeffry." Jeffry just continued trying to undo them to no avail. _A stroller, brilliant! I can hide in the back. There's even a blanket to hide under._ The woman stopped to look at a dress and Private used the chance to come out from a woman's trousers rack and jumped into the stroller basket. _I hope she's headed where I'm going._

After about 20 minutes and only having crossed the woman's clothing department, Private was about ready to find another way to get around. _I didn't know women could spend so much time looking at clothes._ Jeffry had gotten restless and was pushing back into the stroller while being very vocal about how upset he was. _I know how you feel._

"Calm down Jeffry, I'm almost done."

"Hey honey."

"Oh, Dan. Did you find anything for your brother?"

"Yeah, I got him this sweater and new shoes. Boy is he gonna be pissed when he finds out I didn't get him a blue-ray player."

"Dan! What have I told you about swearing in front of Jeffry?" _So "pissed" is a swear word? I wonder what it means..._

"Daddy, I'm bored!"

"I know you are champ. How about we go look at the toys?"

"Yay! Toys toys toys toys!"

"You're not going to buy him one are you? He has plenty of toys all over the floor back at home."

"No, we're just going to go look. Santa is gonna bring the toys in a few days, right Jeffry?"

"I wanna see Santa, I wanna see Santa!"

"OK, first we see the toys and then you tell Santa which one you want for Christmas"

Dan took control of the stroller and pushed them toward the toys. _I hope the toys are close to Home Decor, then I can ride the stroller to go see Santa!_ As luck would have it, the toys were right next to the home decor section. But Private's luck ran out since the toy section was quite possibly the most crowded section of the store. _Oh bother, I wonder if I could pass off as a penguin toy to blend in. But what if someone picks me up and takes me home like last time? I'll have to chance it._ Climbing down from the stroller basket, Private quickly jumped onto a toy shelf and tried to blend in.

The toys were in complete disarray. Some were toppled over, others were on the wrong shelves, and a few had dented packaging. Most didn't stay on the shelves for long before a parent or a child picked one up. Standing perfectly still and only moving his eyes, Private analyzed his surroundings. _There are kids everywhere. The best I can do is to move a couple of inches every now and then._

But Private didn't even have a chance to move a millimeter before some little girl picked him up.

"Oh my gosh you're so cute and perfect! Mom has got to let me buy you!" Private mentally slapped himself. _Now I'm going to be bought and taken to some strangers home. Again. Why me? Hold on a tick, this is the home decor section!_ The little girl walked up to a red haired woman looking at candle holders.

"Mom, can I please buy this? It's so cute!" The woman turned and took a look at Private.

"Now sweetie, I told you to go find gifts for your friends."

"But I really want this." The woman took Private from the little girl and started looking him over.

"He doesn't even have a price tag." She turned him over a few more times. "It's surprisingly realistic..." She frowned when she spotted Private's privates. Private felt himself blush.

"So can I have him? Please?" The woman sighed.

"Maybe some other time." She placed him next to some picture frames. "Let's go look at the toys and find something for your friends together." They walked away and Private gave a sigh of relief. _Now to find the pillows and get back to the stroller.

* * *

_

The smell of food greeted Rico and Max as they entered the grocery store.

"Would you look at all of that. Humans sure do have it easy. No catching your own food or have it talk back to you. Just come in, take what you want, and go." Rico smiled and nodded at the cat's statement. Isles upon isles of food lined the store for as far as the eye could see. Rico started walking toward one in his search for the peanuts. "Hey, I thought you were looking for peanuts." Rico turned around and gave a questioning glance to Max.

"That sign says the peanuts are in isle 7."

"You can read?" asked Rico in surprise.

"Yeah, can't you?"

"Nu-uh." Maybe the cat was useful for this mission after all. They made their way to isle 7 being careful not to be spotted by any shoppers. Isle 7 contained not only peanuts, but also trail mix, party snacks, candy, and several kinds of dip. Rico looked over the peanut selection trying to find the biggest bag they had. Burt was a big elephant and he needed a lot of peanuts. He was upset the biggest one they had was only about a kilo. Grabbing it, he swallowed it whole.

"Uh... did you just eat a two pound bag of peanuts in one gulp?"

"Yep," replied Rico as he swallowed another one. Two bags should be enough. He patted his stomach and then looked at Max. "Gift?"

"Oh right, I almost forgot. I don't really know what to get Roger." He ran one of his paws on the back of his head.

"Food?"

"Hmm, that's not such a bad idea. Something that will keep until Christmas. So no meat because it'll spoil and Roger is a vegetarian."

"Huh?"

"I know, I was surprised the find that out too. It's better that way. I don't have to worry about him getting hungry and eating me." Rico looked around trying to find something that would be a good gift. Outside of the isle stood a large display case.

"Cookies!" Rico pointed a flipper to the colorful assortment available. They moved in closer for a better view. Several types of cookies were on sale. Gingerbread Santas, chocolate chip cookies with the chocolate painted red and green, powdered cookies in Christmas shapes, soft cookies in red and green, and tons more.

"This will be perfect!" Max looked them over for a bit before deciding on an assortment pack. "Roger will love these."

"Mmhmm," replied Rico as he kept a look out for anybody close by. He stopped when he laid his eyes on seafood on display. "Fiiiiiiiiish!" He yelled and then raced over. So many fish to chose from. Salmon, bass, tuna, trout, yellowtail, the list went on and on.

"It's like a smorgasbord from Heaven." Max started drooling at the sight of it all. They jumped the counter to where they could access the fish. Rico took his time selecting the best one. Some high grade fish would be perfect for Christmas dinner. He could picture it now. The look of pleasant surprise on everyone's face when he will take the fish out of the fridge and start chopping it up into a delectable feast.

_"Outstanding Rico! You've really outdone yourself this time."_ Skipper will say after taking the first bite.

_"Oh Rico, this is the best Christmas dinner evah!"_ Private would chow down on every piece he's given.

_"Clearly your mastery of the culinary arts surpasses even my own prowess in science!"_ Kowalski would proclaim while holding up a piece of the magnificent meal. Rico would have a grin on his face as he accepted the praise from his comrades. _It would be nice to be appreciated like that every once in awhile. Sometimes I feel like nothing more than a background character._

"Hey, what are those animals doing here?!" _Uh-oh._ One of the seafood section workers had spotted them. _I guess I shouldn't have stopped to daydream..._ Grabbing 4 fish he then barfed up a smoke bomb. The man was blinded by a dark smoke before he could reach Rico and Max. Rico swallowed the fish for safekeeping and then made a break for it.

"Run!" He told the cat, who was having a hard time carrying a giant fish and a tray of cookies.

"I'm trying to!"

Realizing that Max was only going to slow them down, he went and helped him with the tray of cookies. What a sight they were. A penguin carrying cookies and a cat with a fish half the size of his body. Like something out of a story book.

"Here comes the penguin, here comes the cat.

One in a bow-tie, one in a hat.

The bird brings the cookies, the cat brings the fish,

And the clerk chases after them both with a dish."

The clerk wasn't really chasing them with a dish, but only so many words rhyme with fish. Some customers had also taken notice and had stopped to stare.

"Come back here!" They raced out of the store and barely managed to get into the sewer. Once in the safety of the dark and damp New York City sewage system, they took a moment to catch their breath.

"Man, that was a close one. But it was so worth it." Max bit into the fish and ate it like he had been on a six week diet. "Oh man dis ish guud." Rico got up from where he was sitting.

"You're leaving now?" Max chose not to talk with his mouth full this time.

"Yep."

"Okay, thanks for the help. And merry Christmas!" _Merry Christmas..._

"Me...rry...Christ...mas." Sure he couldn't say it perfectly, but at least he tried. With a soft smile he continued on his way to the rendezvous point.

* * *

"Maurice, shouldn't we be getting the king's present?" Mort gave Maurice one of those looks that made him feel guilty.

"Look Mort, the king needs to find Skipper's present on his own. We have our own gifts to worry about."

"But the king is counting on us." Damn Mort and his sad eyes. Maurice just wanted some time off. King Julien was such a pain to wait on. How Mort could stand being in his presence for so long was a mystery.

"Tell me one good reason why we should leave the nice warm reptile house to go out into the cold and find a gift Julien is too lazy to find himself."

"Because the king needs us, and we're his only friends." _Why? Why does he have to be right?_ No matter how often Julien got on his nerves, Maurice would always stick by him. Something about him was just so magnetic. You couldn't help but feel attached to the guy. Heck, it's how he became king despite the fact that lemurs only have queens.

Maurice heaved out a sigh.

"Okay Mort, let's go find something that Julien can give to Skipper."

"Yay!" _Oh Mort, if only I could be as simple minded and carefree as you.

* * *

_

The line to see Santa was ridiculously long. Private had been hiding for almost half an hour before he made it to the front of the line. _That took forever. I'm going to run behind schedule. I don't want Skipper yelling at me for being late._ Jeffry and his father were next in line. _Oh well, if I get to meet Santa it'll be worth it._

The area where you met Santa had been lavishly decorated. Several Christmas trees ran the perimeter and fake snow was placed all over the floor. A grand red upholstered chair sat in the middle, where Santa was sitting. An elf was to his left and a big sack of toys was to his right. Behind him stood a small cottage that read "Santa's Workshop".

"Okay everyone, Santa is going to take a 5 minute break so please be patient for a little while longer." _That voice...it sounds so familiar..._ Taking a peak from beneath the blanket, all he could see was an elf costume from the waist down.

"But we've already been waiting long enough."

"Santa! Santa!"

"Everyone will get to see Santa, but by the power given to me by the Macy's, Incorporated department store located at Herald Square, I must ask you to wait behind the yellow line." _No... it couldn't be..._

Private took a chance at being exposed and removed the blanket from himself. There, dressed in a complete elf costume, stood Officer X. He even had his sunglasses on. _Of all the luck._ He quickly pulled the blanket over himself again. _What am I going to do now? If X catches me I'm done for! I do feel a bit bad for costing the fellow his job though..._

He peaked from under the blanket again. Officer X had gone to check on the presents they were handing out to the kids. _Now's my chance to get away._ He had seen Santa go into the cottage. Grabbing the pillow for Marlene, he sneaked out of the stroller and hid behind one of the Christmas trees. _I hope there's a way to get in from the back._

He went from tree to tree until he reached the back of the stage area. Taking a quick glance around, he headed to the back of the cottage. Sure enough there was a back door there. It read "Authorized Personnel Only" of course Private couldn't read that so he went in anyway.

"Hello Private, I've been expecting you." Private gasped. There in front of him stood Santa. Not a holiday Santa, but the REAL Santa. Only the real Santa would know his name. His face was kind, warm, and inviting. He was smiling broadly and his eyes sparkled with joy.

"I knew you'd be here! Just like the movie!" The red man chuckled.

"Yes, I do like to visit a few department stores to see how the children are doing. But you're far away from home little one. You need to head back soon."

"I know, I just wanted to ask you for something."

"Yes, you have a very selfless wish you want granted." Private blushed.

"It's not selfless, it's what any friend would do really..."

"Ho ho ho, such modesty does warm my heart." He reached into one of his pockets and took out a small plant. "Take this. It will help." Private looked at the gift he got carefully.

"But it's just mistletoe..."

"It's no ordinary mistletoe, it's special. Put it up during your Christmas party and I guarantee you Skipper will have a great Christmas." Private looked at the mistletoe again. _Will this really help Skipper? Well if it's from Santa I'm sure it will._

"Thank you Santa. And happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas Private." Private waved goodbye and walked out. _Just you wait Skipper, I'll make sure you have a great Christmas._

"So we meet again, penguin."

"Likewise X."

_Skipper!

* * *

_

What was taking Private so long? Had he gotten caught? Skipper had waited outside the store for half an hour before heading in. The place was packed. Of course, being a commanding officer skilled in the art of camouflage, he had no trouble getting around. He had spent the last half hour looking all around the store. He even checked where Santa was. No dice.

_I guess I'll go check where Santa is again before heading out to see if he already left. If that boy got into trouble again I'm making him run drills for a month._ When Skipper got there Santa was gone. _Santa must be on break. I wonder if Private would be gullible enough to believe the real Santa would come here because of the movie we watched a few nights ago. _Skipper thought it over for a moment before giving out a sigh. _Yes, he would. I'll probably find him in the cottage._

"And where do you think you're going?" Skipper was caught off guard hearing that voice. It could only belong to one person.

"Officer X." He was dressed in a goofy elf costume but he still wore his signature sunglasses. He also had his signature smug grin.

"So we meet again, penguin."

"Likewise X."

"You cost me my job as an officer of the Metropolitan Sub Bureau of Animal Control and Pretzel Cart Regulation." _More like you lost it yourself by going crazy with payback. _"You've been a very naughty penguin this year, and I'm afraid Santa's elf will have to give you some tasering." He took out his electric baton and lit it up. _Where was he storing that thing?_

"Bring it on mammal." X brought his baton down but Skipper dodged to the right missing it. He swung towards Skipper again and this time Skipper jumped over it.

"I order you to stay still!" Officer X took another swing, knocking down a Christmas tree.

"Make me!" Skipper jumped and kicked X in the knee. It hurt. For Skipper.

"Charles De Gualle! Are you some kind of cyborg?!" He yelled while jumping on one leg.

"Ha, I bet you thought that would hurt me. Well guess again penguin. I am wearing protective plates under this costume so bratty kids hurt themselves when trying to hurt me." He loomed over Skipper. "And now you're in for a whole world or hurt." The electric baton descended on him and Skipper knew he couldn't get away fast enough with his aching foot.

"Skippah!"

"Huh?"

Private jumped out of nowhere and knocked the baton out of Officer X's hand. It bounced on the floor before rolling under a clothing stand.

"Another one? You penguins still think the zoo isn't good enough for you huh? And what's this? Shoplifting? This time I'll make sure you get deported to the most inhospitable part of Antarctica."

Skipper saw Private carrying an intricately designed soft pink pillow. _Private got Julien? He could have gone with another color other than pink...[7]_

"There's too many people here Skippah, we have to go!"

"Roger that. Engage evasive maneuvers."

Getting on their bellies, they slid away as quickly as they could. X pushed the clothing stand aside and retrieved his baton.

"You troublemakers aren't getting away from me!" Staying out of sight was no longer an option. All around them people gasped and dodged out of the way as two penguins and an elf made their way through the store.

"There's the exit!"

"Hurry Private, he's catching up!"

"Don't let those two escape!" The guard at the door didn't react fast enough to X's order. He was too shocked with the absurdity of the situation. As luck would have it, someone was walking in leaving the door wide open. They slipped right through and out into the street. X was still chasing them, and they knew he was persistent.

"What are we going to do Skippah?"

"We have to get into the sewers without that psycho noticing. We have no choice but to go off 5th Avenue and lose him in the crowds." Being penguins had its advantages, like being short enough to walk past people's legs. Officer X on the other hand, had to shove people out of the way.

"Clear a path, I'm on official animal control duty!"

"Skippah, look! The crosswalk is about to change!"

"Perfect! We'll cross and force him to wait for the next one." Skipper and Private barely managed to cross, but X didn't make it in time. The red hand of "Do Not Walk" taunted him. On the other side of the street he saw Private and Skipper waving merrily at him.

"Don't think this is the last you've seen of me penguins! I'll make sure you lawbreakers get what you deserve."

"I think what we deserve right now is a nice cup of hot cocoa. C'mon Private, let's go home."

"Yes sir."

* * *

When Kowalski arrived at the rendezvous point, Rico was already there waiting for him.

"Hello Rico, I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Nu-uh."

"Ah, good. Skipper and Private shouldn't take much longer with their presents." A simple guttural sound was given by Rico as a sign of confirmation. Kowalski set his bag down and sat down next to Rico. An awkward silence filled the air after awhile. _Come on Kowalski, start up a conversation. Your socializing skills are atrocious and need improvement._

"So...."

"Hm."

_Great conversation. I'm sure you'll win a noble prize for that one. Come on Kowalski, think! That's what you're good at! Find something you and Rico can talk about. Perhaps the combustion properties of explosives or the physics involved in his knife cutting. The history of the Renaissance or advanced engineering equations and why is he staring at you like that?_

Kowalski snapped out of his thoughts. "Rico, why are you staring at me like that?"

_"You make an interesting face when you start thinking."_ What Rico actually said sounded like gibberish to many, but they had managed to understand what Rico was saying.

"Yes, well I guess I do overanalyze everything..."

"Yep."

"It's not a bad thing you know, except during combat..." Rico rolled his eyes.

"Hey, at least I don't have an addiction to explosives."

"Meh."

"To each his own, as they say." The awkward silence returned with a vengeance. _Perhaps a different approach might do the trick._

"So...is there anything you want to do to pass the time?"

"Hmm..." Rico thought for a bit before a wicked smile crossed his face. "Hehehe..."

"Ri-Rico?"

_"Let's have some fun together..."

* * *

_

_Kowalski and Rico are probably already back at the rendezvous point. We need to hurry up._ Skipper picked up his pace, Private following behind him.

"Skippah, how come you came looking for me instead of heading to the rendezvous point?" _Drats, he caught on to that._

"No reason, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." When he had gone to check up on Private, he left the tea set hidden in the sewer for safe keeping. He was now carrying it along with Private's gift for Julien in a bag.

"I was doing fine on my own. You're the one who got caught." Skipper frowned.

"And I only got caught because I was worried about you. I waited half an hour outside the store and you didn't come out. What was I suppose to think Private?" Guilt flashed in Private's eyes.

"I'm sorry Skippah, I didn't know I was worrying you. But I'll make it up to you. I promise!" _I can't stay mad at him._

"Yeah, I was being a little overprotective too. Let's go home so we can have lunch and then finish of the day with routine maintenance."

"But Skippah, you said you were giving us the afternoon off." _I did? Oh right, Marlene wants me to go talk to her._

"I almost forgot about that...do you hear something?"

"Yeah, it sounds a bit like K'walski."

"I can hear Rico too. I wonder what those two knuckleheads are up to."

As they got closer the conversation started to get more discernable.

"No, Rico, you can't do that!"

"Watch me!"

"That doesn't go there! Oh this is so wrong!"

_"That's what makes it more fun."_

"Kowalski, Rico, what in the name of George Washington are you two doing!?"

The two penguins turned to their leader. Kowalski was angry and flustered and Rico was happy and content. In-between them was a board game with a map of the world on it.

"Rico just invaded the Congo through Madagascar claiming he has just acquired an air force!"

_"You're just mad I took South Africa from you."_

"Am not!"

"That's enough you two. It's time to head back to the zoo." Rico gave a smug smile to Kowalski as he put the game away.

"Private is the only one who plays the game by the rules. Everyone else cheats," he mumbled.

"What was that?" Skipper eyed him angrily.

"Uh, I asked how your shopping went."

"It's a long story."

* * *

1. Lemurs purr. Who knew?

2. For those of you who skipped the lemon, penguins have cloacas. It's the reason why they need a DNA test to tell the difference between male and female and the whole plot of Miss Understanding. Since I gave Skipper and all the penguins cocks, the episode is only referenced in this story in that Skipper is going through the five stages of grief over his kiss with Julien.

3. Hooray for Google Maps and Google Earth for listing all this stuff. Sorry if I got anything wrong.

4. There is an actual Whole Foods there. I've never been there so I made up the isles and food they have.

5. If you don't know which one he's talking about, then you've clearly never heard of _Miracle on 34th Street._

6. That's how the British say it. Merry is American/Canadian, Happy is British. If that's confusing, consider the fact the British use stones, Americans use pounds, and Canadians use kilos.

7. In chapter 4 Julien said he wanted a seat cushion for his throne. Skipper thinks the gift is for Julien when it's really for Marlene.

Next chapter will have the actual gift exchange and Marlene will try to get Julien and Skipper to make up. And then there's the mistletoe of course. I'm sure you all know how that will play out : D

Here's hoping it doesn't take me another three months to post another update. Remember to review if you have the time.


	6. IR 3: A Kiss in New Fallen Snow

**Arthur's Note: **So I'm a month overdue with an update, but this chapter is almost as big as the other one. This is the final part of the Christmas flashback and next chapter goes back to the present day.

Also, yesterday was International Penguin Day. Nick was suppose to air the Penguins of Madagascar episode _The Lost Treasure of the Golden Squirrel_, but only aired it in Canada. So now I'm watching Youtube like a hawk for someone to upload it. Nick has been delaying a bunch of PoM episodes lately. One of them is _Field Tripped _where they actually mention Madagascar and basically brings the whole "Alternate Universe" concept into question. Leave it to the creators to change their minds and wreck a fanfic. So for the time being let's pretend this does take place is the Madagascar proper universe and that Merry Madagacar didn't happen. I'll probably go back and make adjustments later. Anyway, enough of my rambling, on with the story!

**Disclaimer: **I'm six chapters in, do I still bloody need one?!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Intel Report 3: A Kiss in New Fallen Snow**

The penguins came back at around 10:30. Skipper told Marlene they were going to relax and then eat lunch. After lunch he would come over, at around 12:30. That gave Marlene time to plan everything out. First, she would wait until Skipper came over. She would sit him down and then claim that she forgot to get the peanut butter winky she had gotten for him. This would give her an excuse to go get Julien. She would have to keep Julien quiet by telling him that's the only way to get the present. Once they're both in the same room, she'll have them talk out their problems. Then they'll kiss and make up and everything will be sugar and rainbows.

_Yeah right. What was I thinking? This is never going to work. They're both as stubborn as a pack of jackasses. _She would have to continue with her plan anyway. It was too far along to go back on now. Marlene just needed to find a way to make Julien and Skipper work things out. _Maybe if I lock them in until they resolve things... but my habitat doesn't exactly have a door to lock. And then there's the sewer drain. I'll just resort to drastic measures then._

Marlene walked over to the chip's habitat. She had heard them talk before on how they had some sort of dirt on Skipper. She wasn't sure what it was, but she hoped it was enough incentive for Skipper not to run away when he saw Julien. It would be her last resort. Now the only hurtle left in the plan was getting the chimps to give it to her.

****************

"Absolutely not."

"Please Mason, it's for a good cause."

"I don't care if it's a matter of national security, you're not getting the pictures."

"Aha, so that's what it is!"

"Drats, I suppose the cat's out of the bag."

Marlene had been arguing with Phil and Mason to let her borrow whatever they were blackmailing Skipper with. Right off the bat they had refused. Said something about having made a deal with Skipper never to let it see the light of day. Now she at least knew they were photos.

"Are they really that bad?"

"Well in a way they are. Not so much anymore now that Skipper and Lo-" Mason was cut off by Phil elbow jabbing him. "Oh right, I shouldn't talk about it." Marlene was confused now. _Just what is Skipper keeping quiet?_ Phil signed something to Mason.

"Phil's right. You shouldn't have to resort to blackmail to help out Skipper. I'm sure in time he and Julien will resolve things on their own. Trying to force them to get along might make things worse." He had a point. This plan might backfire and make them fight even more. But they were already fighting more than they ever did. She had to take the chance.

"I still have to give it a try, but with a gentler approach. Their rivalry I could stand but this is just too much." A glance at the clock showed the time as 11:25. "I'll see you guys later. I need to have an early lunch and then get things ready."

"Good luck with that. You'll be playing with explosives." _Explosives huh? I hope I'm as skilled as Rico then. _Phil signed something to Mason. "I suppose Skipper and Julien are more like volatile chemicals. _Well then I hope I have Kowalski's chemical skills too. One wrong move and everything will go boom._ She left the chips and walked back home deep in thought. _A gentle approach... it could work out after all.

* * *

_

Mort and Maurice were out in Central Park looking for King Julien and his perfect feet a present. Maurice was being grumpy about the cold, but an errand for the King was enough to keep Mort warm. So far they had found a puck thingy like from when the penguins played the game in their habitat, a red glove with a leaf on it, a penny, and an old gift card.

"Mort, can you stop humming? There's nothing to be happy about."

"But it's Julianuary. Every day is happy!" Maurice didn't seem to like that answer. He just keep looking around for a present. Mort keep looking too. Up in the tree, he spotted something.

"Hey look, it's a squirrely!" A brown squirrel was pocking his head out of a hole in the tree. "Hello squirrely!"

"Hello."

"Can you help us find a present?" asked Mort.

"What kind of present?"

"Apparently one that would make a penguin happy..." came Maurice's muttered response.

"What was that? You're going to have to speak up."

"Hey man, you know the layout of this park pretty well, right?" Maurice ask in a louder voice.

"I do."

"So how about helping us out and telling us where we could find something for a penguin?"

"I dunno. I've never gotten something for a penguin before. Hey, did you know they live in a zoo?"

"I know, that's where we're from."

"Then what are you doing out here?"

"We're looking for a present!" Maurice shouted angrily at the squirrel.

"So why don't you go to the gift shop? I remember one being there."

"Oy..." Maurice was not happy. Mort on the other hand liked the squirrel. He was funny.

"C'mon Mort, let's head back to the zoo. We'll find King Julien's gift some other time."

"Julien? Isn't that the guy who wanted to have a fight with me?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So I didn't know he was a penguin."

"He's not. He's a lemur, like us."

"Oh, so that's what a lemur is. But you said you were looking for a penguin gift."

"King Julien sent us to find a gift for a penguin."

"I'm no expert in romance, but shouldn't he be finding the gift himself?"

"It's not ro- it's a Christmas present."

"You know what you should do? Go ask Antonio. He knows all sorts of things about romance."

"It's not- why do I even bother?" Mort looked over at Maurice. He was cold and tired. Mort moved closer so they could share body heat.

"Follow me, I'll take you to him." The squirrel came down the tree and started walking toward the pond. Mort waited to see what Maurice would do. Maurice stared on ahead before following the squirrel. Mort then happily followed Maurice.

* * *

Maurice and Mort followed Fred deeper into the park until they reached a pond. It had frozen over but there was a small hole in the ice near the shore. Fred stood near the edge of it before cupping his hands together and shouting down into it.

"Hey Antonio, I've got some lemurs here who need some help!"

Maurice looked down into the water below but he couldn't make out anything. He kept starting at it and soon something came to view. The water was covering up what it was, but it was getting closer.

"Here he comes. You may want to step back." Maurice took Fred's advice and stepped back with him. A few seconds later a muscular otter came out of the water and shook his fur dry.

"What is it Fred? Did I hear you say someone needed my help?"

"Yeah, these guys are looking for a present for a penguin, and since you're the romance expert, I figured you could help them out."

"A cross-species romance? _Que interesante. _Not to worry, I do not judge."

Maurice was getting tired of all this romance talk. This was a Christmas gift errand, not a romantic expedition. As if King Julien would ever get something romantic for Skipper.

"It's not romance! It's a Christmas present. We just want to find something nice."

"Well what does the penguin like? You have to think about what she would like."

"He. And Skipper likes fish, secrecy, military type stuff, and being bossy." _Something he and King Julien share in common._

"And which one of you is giving the present?"

"That would be King Julien. He sent us out to look for something nice to give Skipper."

"That simply will not do. Any gift, be it friendship, holiday, or love must be given personally. Having someone else get it for you takes away from that."

"That's what I said. Well, kind of. Minus the fancy words and alluring accent," replied Fred.

Maurice scoffed. "Try telling that to King Julien."

"I think I will. He will only find the perfect present if he follows his own heart. Where can I find this king?"

"I know! He's at the zoo. I'll take you there." Mort happily started skipping back to the zoo. Antonio followed him while Maurice stood watching them leave.

"Don't worry, Antonio is great at helping people. When Marlene broke up with me, he helped cheer me up."

"I hope so, or else King Julien is going to make me come back out here tomorrow. My ass is frozen enough as it is."

* * *

Those two were taking forever coming back. How hard was it to find a lousy present? Julien sulked on his throne watching the time go by. The day had only gotten a few degrees warmer, but the cold wind did away with that. His tail wasn't enough to keep him warm.

"I need to have Maurice make me a sweater or something. Something that screams kingly." Another cold breeze blew forcing Julien to curl into himself. "Where are you Maurice?! I am needing you for something!"

"I'm down here Your Majesty." Julien uncurled himself and looked down over the edge of the platform. Maurice, Mort, and a strange tall otter were looking up at him. Confused, he jumped down to investigate.

"Maurice, what's with the otter?"

"I'm Antonio, the otter bachelor of Central Park." Julien looked him over before turning to Maurice.

"Maurice, I asked for a present for Skipper, not Marlene."

"He's not a present. He's here to help you look for one."

"Excellent, now all three of you can be covering more ground."

"_No Tu Majestad, _I am here to help you find a present on your own."

"On my own? Don't be silly you buff otter. I am king. I have people to do things for me."

"But when you're doing something for someone, you don't get someone else to do it for you. Is this penguin friend of yours not worth the trouble?"

Julien thought it over. Was Skipper really worth the trouble of the king himself going out and finding a present for? Of course he wasn't, but something in his heart told him to do it anyway.

"Okay, I will go find a present for the bossy one." A gust of wind blew by sending shivers down Julien's spine. "After Maurice is find me a sweater or something. I am freezing my lychee nuts off."

"Hey Julien, you can come over now," came Marlene's voice from the other side of the habitat. Julien had forgotten all about Marlene's invitation. She soon came into view and walked over to them.

"Come on Julien, you don't want to keep your present waiting." She smiled a bit too much, almost suspiciously. But then her smile dropped as she stood ogling something over Julien's shoulder. He turned and saw her attention was on the buff otter. He was smiling seductively and gazing back at her. Julien started feeling awkward standing there, especially since the two otters weren't saying anything.

"Um, Marlene, are you being alright?" He waved his paws in front of her to catch her attention.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I was just admiring- I mean, wondering who your new friend was."

"I am Antonio, the otter bachelor of Central Park."

"A bachelor? Someone as handsome as you? No way." She giggled after she finished her sentence.

_"Si se__ñ__orita, _it is hard finding other otters to associate with, especially ones as lovely as you." Marlene let out another giggle.

"Oh stop, you're making me blush."

"If you guys are going to be all mushy mushy with each other, can I go pick up my royal present?" asked Julien. Marlene snapped back to the rest of reality.

"What? No, I need you to come over and stay for a bit." She looked back at Antonio. "I have to go, but it would be nice meeting you. I'm Marlene by the way."

"It's nice to meet you Marlene. I live by the pond out in the park. Maybe you can visit me sometime."

"Yeah, that would be nice." She was making that far off look face again.

"Yes, yes, a date in the park. Focus Marlene, I want my present!" Julien started pushing Marlene to get her to move. She waved goodbye to the buff otter and finally started walking on her own.

"He's not as handsome as me, I don't know why you are liking him."

"What makes you think I like him that way?"

"You kept making drooly faces at him. They were very gross."

"What? Hey!" She punched him in the arm.

"Ow! How dare you hit the royal me!"

"Just be quiet until we reach my habitat. Your present needs absolute silence."

Julien stayed quiet nursing his hurt arm. The walk was short and soon they arrived. Marlene went in first.

"Okay, I'm back!"

_Why is she saying that out loud? Is someone else here?_ He walked in after her and saw _him_ sitting on the floor.

"Ring-tail?! Marlene, what's the meaning of this?!"

_Skipper doesn't look happy to see me at all _thought Julien bitterly.

* * *

Skipper had finished eating lunch and was watching TV with Private when Marlene came to get him. Everyone was enjoying their time off in different ways. Kowalski was in his lab working on something and Rico was busy taking care of his doll.

"I hope you didn't forget my invitation to come over Skipper."

"Of course I haven't Marlene. I was just about to head over."

"Well I came to get you just in case. We can start our chat early on the walk to my habitat."

Skipper chuckled and got up from his spot on the TV. "Let me know how the show ends Private."

"Will do Skippah."

It was still cold out, but that was to be expected in December. The wind kept dropping the temperature even further. The sky was starting to get overcast and the forecast predicted snow for the night.

"So did you guys find your presents without much trouble?"

"More or less. We had a run in with Officer X, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle."

"Let me know when you want the presents wrapped up. I've already got a place to keep the presents."

They entered into Marlene's home and out of the cold. She had it decorated up for Christmas. A small tree with ornaments stood in one corner of the room. Stringed popcorn hung on the walls. A red Santa blanket was neatly folded by Marlene's pillow.

"It's a pretty big job guarding and keeping everyone's presents secret," said Skipper impressed.

"I do it for the joy of Christmas." Skipper watched her as she walked over the drainage hole that lead to the sewer. She taped it a few times before turning back and smiling at him. "How about a peanut butter winky?"

Before Marlene even finished saying it Skipper's mouth had already started to water.

"I'd love one. I can never resist a peanut butter winky."

"Great. Wait here while I go one from my secret stash." She left in a hurry without another word. _Hm, that was odd. I guess she doesn't want to be out in the cold too long._ Skipper took a seat on the floor and let his thoughts wander. _Marlene sure is excited about this secret Santa exchange. I better make sure I don't mess it up. I'll just have to suck it up and try to avoid Ring-tail. It's not that hard to tolerate him. _An image of Julien commanding him to bow to him flashed in his mind. _Okay, maybe it is, but I'll be drunk on eggnog by then. Good thing I'm a fun drunk. _An image of him and Julien singing a duet while wearing lampshades flashed into his head, followed immediately by one of Julien taking advantage of him in his drunken state. _Oh great, now I'm over thinking things like Kowalski._

Unfortunately for Skipper, the image of Julien taking advantage of him was stuck in his head. They were in the back room of the Zoovenir shop and Julien was French kissing him. Skipper was more than a willing participant if his roaming flippers had anything to say. He felt himself getting a bit hard. _No no no! I will not have these thoughts in my head! And I will certainly NOT be aroused by them! _He forced himself to think of calming things like drills and procedures. It worked and he felt himself relax. _There we go. I don't want Marlene to come back and find me sporting a hard on. That reminds me, what's taking Marlene so long?_

The otter had been gone for some time now. Skipper was starting to get impatient. It shouldn't take that long to get a candy treat. He waited for awhile longer before he heard someone coming closer.

"Okay, I'm back!" Marlene came in through the entrance but Skipper didn't see her carrying any winkies. And then _he_ walked in after her. Skipper felt his blood start to boil.

"Ring-tail?! Marlene, what's the meaning of this?!" To say Skipper was upset would be an understatement. The very last person he wanted to see had just walked in. The lemur looked sad after Skipper shouted out like that.

"I want you guys to stop fighting. You two are going to stay here and work out your differences."

_What the hell is Marlene thinking? I'm not going to do anything with Ring-tail except get away from him._

"No can do Marlene. Ring-tail and I have nothing to discuss."

"If the bossy penguin doesn't want to talk, then neither do I. Now give to me my present so I can be returning to my kingdom."

"About that... I lied to get you to come here."

"There is no present? This is unacceptable! I demand a present for me at once!" He stomped his foot and folded his arms across his chest. Skipper was glaring at him from across the room. Marlene was stuck in the middle.

"Will you two please stop acting like children!"

Skipper was surprised by Marlene's angry and frustrated shout. He hadn't heard her this mad since Rhonda was her roommate.

"Skipper, you're a leader, and as a leader you know you can handle a situation one of two ways: by diplomacy, or by fighting. Do you really want to break out into a brawl at the Christmas party?!"

"Yeah, but- I would never..." He trailed off knowing Marlene was right. Tensions with Ring-tail were so high at the moment, they could easily get into another fight at any moment.

"And Julien, you say you're a party king, but what kind of party king will let an argument ruin a party?"

"One that is not being a very good one I suppose..."

"Now I know you're both guys and have a hard time talking about your feelings, but work something out so you can be friendly rivals again, or else I'll be forced to ban you both from the party."

"But, I am the life of the party! There is no party if I am not being there!"

Skipper stayed quiet, planning his options. Marlene had forced him into a corner. He had to attended that party with his men. Being banned from it would set a bad example for them. Denmark was one thing, but being banned from a Christmas party? There was also the part of him that was tired of fighting with Julien. All it did was make the last few days miserable. He had to face what happened sooner or later anyway.

"Skipper?"

"Huh?" His was brought out of his thoughts by Marlene calling his name.

"I said are you going to talk to Julien or not?"

"Yeah, I will. Could you give us some privacy though? It's a personal matter." Marlene seemed happy with the answer and walked toward the exit.

"I'll be right outside waiting for you guys to finish patching things up. And don't try escaping through the sewer drain. I made sure to glue it shut."

_Clever girl._

"Um, so what are we to be doing now?" asked Julien. He had moved closer to Skipper, but he still kept his distance. Skipper sighed preparing himself for what he was about to do.

"Listen Ring-tail, I'm sorry about what happened the other night. I shouldn't have jumped you like that."

"Well yeah, you could have been telling me you wanted to keep the k-, the _you-knowing-what_ secret."

"Well now you know. I don't want anybody knowing about it."

"Was it really that bad?" Julien's question caught Skipper by surprise. How would he answer? Could he answer?

"I dunno, I just don't want to talk about it." He didn't fail to notice that Julien had come a little closer. "Let's just pretend it didn't happen and go on with our lives."

"So no more of the running away and ignoring me?" He sat down right next to Skipper.

"No, I won't do that anymore. Running away isn't my style." Julien smiled and wrapped an arm around him.

"I don't like you that way Julien. That was the whole point of the argument."

"What do you mean silly penguin? This is a hug of friendliness."

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Uh, Skipper, if you could be having anything you wanted, what would it be?" _Well that's an odd question. He even said my name too._

"I want to slap a hippie. They never come to the zoo and I never found one while on an outside mission."

"I am meaning anything you can use."

"Oh, well I guess I could always use another coffee mug or something." Suddenly Skipper remembered about the contract.

"Hey Julien, what would you like me to do for you?"

"Huh?" Julien didn't know what Skipper meant, and his face showed it.

"I had to cover up the real reason you agreed to the contract. I said I had agreed to do something you wanted me to do." A devious smile spread onto Julien's face. "And don't get any funny ideas! I still have a say in what I'll do or not."

"How about a card game every week? Just between the two of us."

_A card game? That's all he wants? It sounds fishy but it's a reasonable excuse that the boys will believe._

"Okay, that sounds fair. How's every Saturday night sound to you?"

"It is sounding excellent. I will be seeing you this Saturday night then." Julien leaned in and gave Skipper a big hug. He wonders why the sudden contact is giving him a small blush. _Stupid Ring-tail needs to learn about personal space._

Julien pulls away and smiles wide as he looks into Skipper's eyes. Skipper feels his blush intensify under Julien's gaze and he's forced to look away.

"I must be getting back to my kingdom. Mort and Maurice cannot be doing anything without me." He got up and stretched more than necessary; as if he was showing off his body to Skipper. A smile and a wink later, and he was gone. Skipper sat there trying to make sense of what had happened. He didn't have time to piece everything together before Marlene walked in.

"Julien told me you guys made up. Did you?"

"Yeah, I'm even going to play cards with him on Saturday."

"That's great! See, I knew you guys could work it out. And look." She held out a small chocolate. "I wasn't lying about the peanut butter winky."

"I've got to stop underestimating your underhandedness," Skipper said impressed. "How about we actually have that chat you used to get me here?"

"Sure, I'd be delighted."

* * *

Julien walked back to his kingdom to find the buff otter still there talking with Maurice. _Good, I will need him for my genius plan._

"King Julien, you're back!" Mort came racing up to Julien with the intent of touching his feet.

"Mort! Not the feet!" He stopped short but still stared longingly at the royal feet. Julien ignored him and walked over to where the others were.

"I have found out what the bossy one is wanting!" King Julien shouted into the air with glee.

"Great, what is it?" Maurice asked from his seat.

"It is mug for the coffee drink."

"There are some in the Zoovenir shop. We can get one after closing."

"No, it has to be a special one. One that will show I am capable of the giving nice things."

"Where are we going to find a mug like that?"

"Hecks if I know. You, buff otter, you said you would help. Where can I be finding such a mug?"

"If it is human things you are after, you will have to look in the stores outside the park." The otter replied.

"I have to go all the way out there? Isn't there an easier way for me to get a mug?"

As if the Sky Spirits were listening to his request, Alice walked by with the answer on hand.

"Could you believe he was ordering Christmas presents online instead of working? And when I caught him he offered to get me a coffee mug." Julien's ears perked up at this. "Well of course I said yes. I'm not going to pass up on a free gift. But he better not be expecting one in return." She walked away as quickly as she had come, giving Julien the info he needed.

"Now we can be getting the mug from online!"

"But Your Majesty, we don't know how to use a computer."

"But you forget Maurice, we know somebodies who do."

* * *

"Why do you want to order a coffee cup?" It was a simple question. They were in Alice's office using her computer. Phil was typing while Mason was translating what Phil signed. The buff otter was keeping watch. "You don't even drink coffee."

"There's is being a very good reason for that pansy."

"Chimpanzee," Mason corrected.

"Whatever. Maurice, answer his question."

"Uh," Maurice thought for a second before coming up with something. "That's because he doesn't have a coffee mug to drink coffee from."

"That's a good one Maurice. Yes, I need a mug for the drinking of the coffee."

"Why don't you just use your smoothie glasses?"

"Because they are for smoothies. Do I have to be explaining everything to you?"

"Right." They brought up a website that specialized in coffee mugs. "Here we go, every kind of mug imaginable, and they can all be personalized."

"There is being so many choices." He scanned the page looking at all the shapes and sizes available. They also came in a variety of colors.

"There are more choices on the next page," Mason informed Julien. He clicked the link and a whole new page of mugs appeared onscreen.

"There is being more? How will I ever de-" A mug on the page caught his attention. It was cylindrically shaped white mug with an upturned handle. There was a drawing of a penguin on it. "Oh, that one is perfect!"

"The classical mug. Always tasteful and completely customizable. Perfect for gifts."

"It's like they are knowing what I am wanting. Chose that one." Phil clicked on it bringing up a window with customization options.

"So do you want to customize it or just get it like it is," asked Mason.

"Hm, can you get rid of the penguin and put 'I love slapping hippies' on it?"

"Why do you want to write that?"

"Do not question your king!"

"Okay, okay. Phil." Phil took off the penguin and clicked on the custom text option. He typed in Julien's desired phrase and hit enter. An option bubble popped up asking if he wanted to change love to a heart shape. Phil passed on the information to Mason. "It's asking if you want a heart shape instead of the word love."

"Even better! This computer thingy knows what I want!" Phil accepted the changes and made a few more of his own. He italicized 'slapping' and chose the word art for hippie that included peace signs as the dots over the I's and some flowers surrounding the word. He hit the preview button and an image of the mug showed up onscreen.

"That is perfect. Order it right now."

"Uh, King Julien, how are we going to pay for it?" Maurice asked.

"Not to worry, Phil and I know the passwords to get into the zoo's funding budget. No one will miss three dollars for a coffee mug." Phil signed something to Mason. "That's right Phil, I almost forgot shipping and handling."

"Be sure to pay for express shipping, I don't like waiting."

Julien walked back to his habitat smiling. He had found Skipper's present and it would be delivered tomorrow. Skipper was also talking to him again, and not ignoring him. They were even going to play cards together every Saturday from now on. Life was definitely good for the lemur king.

* * *

It was the day of the party and the penguins were helping Marlene get everything ready. The zoo was closed for the entire week so they didn't have to worry about anybody catching them decorating Julien's hut(1). He had volunteered to let them use it since the Zoovenir shop would be too cramped. It was surprisingly roomy on the inside. Rico and Kowalski were finishing setting up the tinsel on the walls while Marlene and Private were decorating a Christmas tree. Skipper was over by the door talking with Julien. They had been getting along better lately and Marlene was happy for that.

"Okay Private, I think we're done decorating the tree. What should we do next?"

Private looked over at Skipper, watching him smile and have a good time.

"Private?"

"Oh, sorry Marlene, I was just wondering if we should put up mistletoe or not."

"That would be a great idea, but we don't have any mistletoe."

"I have some. I'll go get it if you'd like."

"Yeah, definitely. It's Christmas tradition."

Private left to go get the mistletoe, passing by Skipper and Julien. Marlene saw him slow down as he passed them by. _I wonder what's on Private's mind. He's been spacing out all day._

"Curse these tangled up lights!" Marlene heard Kowalski yell from the other side of the hut. Turning around she saw he was completely tangled up with the lights, Rico grinning up a storm as he placed the tree toper on his head. "You're not helping Rico."

"Well don't you look festive Kowalski." Skipper made his way over to the two. "I'll help you out of those. Marlene, could you help Julien out by explaining Christmas traditions to him?"

"Sure, just don't plug Kowalski in. I don't want him out staging our Christmas tree." As she walked away she heard Rico give a naughty chuckle.

"Well what do ya know, he does look better than the Christmas tree."

"Yep."

"I hope you both get coal in your stockings."

Julien was still by the door watching Skipper and Rico try to free a now lit-up Kowalski. He was wearing a purple poncho he had gotten a few days ago for the cold.

"So what do you want to know about Christmas?"

"Oh, Skipper was telling me about how stores were secretly airing Christmasy(2) commercials earlier every year to turn us into the mindless shopping zombies." Marlene frowned. Leave it to Skipper to be paranoid even about Christmas. It was at that moment that Private came back carrying mistletoe.

"Here it is Marlene, where should we put it up?"

"Hm, above the door would cause too much trouble. How about in the corner near the Christmas tree?"

"What's so special about that plant?" asked Julien. _That's right, Julien doesn't know about mistletoe._

"It's called mistletoe. If two people are under it at the same time, they're suppose to kiss." Julien's face lit up after hearing that.

"And that is being a Christmasy tradition?"

"Yeah, you don't have to kiss though. It's just done for fun."

"Okay Marlene, I put it up." Private pointed to the mistletoe that now hung from the ceiling.

"How did you get it all the way up there by yourself?" Marlene had only turned her head from Private for a moment to talk to Julien and yet the penguin had managed to put up the mistletoe by himself in record time.

"With a little Christmas magic," he said smiling.

"Maybe your Christmas magic can help Kowalski and Rico." The two had somehow managed to get tied up together in a red bow. Skipper was busy fighting with the now mostly untangled lights.

"I'm afraid I'd need a Christmas miracle for that one."

* * *

The hut was packed to the brim. Christmas music played as everyone talked and socialized. The presents were placed around the Christmas tree and soon they would open them. A food and beverage table was located on one end of the hut with lots of Christmas treats. Julien stood in the middle of the hut drinking eggnog and keeping his eye out for a certain penguin. Maurice walked up to him from the crowd.

"I found him. He's talking to Marlene over by the tree. My guess is they'll start handin' out presents soon."

"Good, I want to be seeing the look on his face when he gets it." He took a sip of his drink. "You know this eggnog stuff is pretty tasty. I could get used to this non-me holiday." Soon enough it was time to hand out the presents. Julien was one of the first to get his, but he had to wait to open it until everyone got theirs. He brought the present next to his ear and shook it trying to figure out what it was. It didn't make much noise and it was light.

"Okay, everyone has their present. You can all open them now."

Julien didn't wait a second after Marlene finished talking to open his present. Inside the box was the seat cushion he wanted, but it looked old and used. He took it out to inspect it further. While it was a bit old, it had clearly been washed and smelled of wild flowers. His face had been sewed into a corner and he had to admit it was a pretty good likeness. It was also soft and that was the most important thing. His royal end deserved super comfiness.

"Okay boys, let's open them up."

Julien's attention went to the penguins after hearing Skipper's voice. _I almost forgot about catching the look on his face. _They had all gathered around the tree and opened their gifts after Skipper gave the command. Ignoring the others, Julien focused on Skipper as he tore the wrapping paper and opened up the box. Skipper's pleasant surprise brought a smile to Julien's lips. A flipper gently grasped the mug and lifted it up into the open.

"I...heart...slap...ping...hippies..." Skipper slowly said aloud. _Ah, good. He can read what it says. _Skipper suddenly raised his eyes and they made contact with Julien's. Realizing he was grinning like an idiot, he quickly turned his gaze away and pretended to be talking to his subjects.

"...Well I guess this blender will make my life _a bit_ easier..." Maurice help up a brand new blender in his paws. _Yes, now Maurice can make me smoothies again! How thoughtful of his Secret Santa._

"Feet..." Mort had a picture of King Julien's feet inside a gold frame. _When did someone get a picture of my royal feet? I did not give permission to have them photographed! _Mort hugged the frame close to his heart. _Better that than my real royal feet, I guess._

Julien risked a look back at Skipper. He had put the coffee mug back in the packaging and was now talking with his friends. It was nice seeing him happy and content for once, his usual tough guy demeanor having been put away. It was the perfect time for Julien to initiate phase two of his plan.

"I will be talking with the bossy penguin now. You two do whatever you are wanting." He quickly left without waiting to hear their responses. Skipper was still talking with his fellow penguins when Julien walked over to them.

"Hello my penguin subjects. This is being a nice party, yes?"

"Indeed it is. I got candy, tea, and candy that tastes like tea!" Private grabbed a lollipop and stuck one in his beak. "Mmm, so good."

"I better not catch you eating all those at once," warned Skipper.

"I won't Skippah. I learned my lesson from last time." Private went back to sucking his lollipop.

"That is being nice, but I want to talk to you alone. It is a very important matter." Julien hoped Skipper wouldn't ask why. To his relief, he didn't.

"Sure. I'll be back soon men, don't get into any trouble." He looked at Rico specifically when he said it.

"Who me?" he grumbled. Skipper left with Julien without another word toward the corner of the hut. Julien casually glanced at the ceiling every few paces. _The perfect spot. I hope this works._ He stopped and flashed Skipper a smile.

"So what did you want to talk about Ring-tail?"

"Oh, I was wanting to ask a question. Do you think all Christmasy traditions should be followed?" He casually asked. _Take the bait, take the bait._

"Of course. That's why they're traditions, they're suppose to be followed."

"So you would do it even if you didn't want to?"

"Ring-tail, part of the Christmas experience is doing stuff you don't want to do, like meeting with obnoxious family or shopping in a crowded store during a blizzard."

Julien smiled again and his tail started swishing faster. "That is good to hear."

"Is that all you wanted to talk about? Because if it is I'm going back to my team."

"There is being one more thing. We're under the toe of mistle."

"Under the what?" asked a confused Skipper. Julien pointed one of his fingers upward. Skipper tilted his head up and saw the mistletoe dangling from the ceiling. His beak dropped open for a few seconds. "You son of a hippie, you planned this, didn't you?"

"Maybe... so are you going to kiss me?" Julien lowered himself to Skipper's face level and leaned in close. The penguin put a flipper on his face.

"Not here." He grabbed Julien's hand and lead him through the crowd toward the door. The weather outside was cold, but since there wasn't any wind it wasn't so bad. Snow gently fell from the skies up above. A calm silence blanketed the zoo, save for the muffled music that was coming from the hut. Skipper let Julien go when they were at the side of hut.

"This is the last kiss you get out of me, understand? And I'm only doing it because it's a Christmas tradition."

"Then I will be making it extra special." Julien took the lead and leaned in to press his lips against Skipper's beak. The familiar tingly feeling from the first time returned. He caught Skipper by surprise like the first time too, but this time he kissed back quickly. His flippers shyly made their way onto Julien's shoulders. Taking this as a sign of encouragement, Julien brought his hands to the back of the penguin's head and deepened the kiss. The world around them was nothing but a white blur, the only thing that mattered was the moment they were sharing. The kiss didn't last long enough in Julien's opinion. They slowly pulled apart, both sporting half lidded eyes.

"Um, I think we should go back to the party... People will start wondering where we went to." Skipper looked so cute when he blushed. Julien looked up at the falling snow thanking the Sky Spirits for the kiss. Something on the edge of the hut's roof caught his attention.

"Uh, Skipper..." Julien pointed his finger up again. Skipper followed its direction and spotted the dangling mistletoe.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He glared at Julien.

"Don't look at me like that! I didn't plan dis. But since it is being there, it's your turn to kiss me." He smiled and leaned in closer again.

"No, I said that was the last kiss. You're not getting another one." Skipper crossed his flippers and turned his head to the side to emphasize the point.

"Someone is lacking in Christmasy spirit."

"It doesn't matter. Penguins can't kiss anyway." This confused Julien greatly. Hadn't they been kissing just a second ago?

"But we were just smooching and making the kissy faces..."

"Nooooo, you were kissing me. In case you haven't noticed Ring-tail, penguins don't have lips. We show affection a different way."

"They do?" Julien grew curious. "How?"

"Well, uh..." Skipper was blushing again. His eyes darted pack and forth trying not to make contact with Julien. "We sort of..."

"Yes?"

Skipper looked up at him for a second and then took a deep breath. Julien watched him with interest. The penguin closed the distance between them and buried his beak into Julien's neck. He moved it back and forth, tickling Julien and making him laugh.

"Ahaha, what are you, ahaha, doing? That tickles."

Skipper pulled back with a frown on his face. "It's not suppose to tickle. This is how penguins kiss, by necking."

"You birds are so naughty, going straight for the neck." Julien tilted his head to the side exposing more of it. "Go ahead and 'kiss' me then."

The look on Skipper's face was priceless. He was gawking at the sight of Julien's exposed neck just begging to be pecked and licked and nuzzled. Julien could have sworn his eyes held a fraction of lust. The penguin moved his beak back onto the lemur's neck and gently started nuzzling it this time. Julien closed his eyes and enjoyed the tingles and sensations Skipper's actions were causing. A small peck from Skipper caused a short moment of pain, but then his tongue licked the area replacing it with waves of pleasure. Julien opened his eyes until they were half lidded and looked at the penguin. He was engrossed in exploring the lemur's neck, not stopping for a second even when Julien started giving out small grunts. His fur was going to be messed up for awhile and he'd probably get a hickey under it, but Julien didn't give a damn at the moment. Skipper had found an especially sensitive area and was teasing the hell out of it. Julien kept his muzzle shut trying to stifle a moan.

"Who said you could keep quiet Ring-tail? I want to hear every little thing that comes out of that cocky mouth of yours," whispered Skipper seductively by his ear, sending shivers down his spine. Julien let out a quiet low moan. "That's better, now turn your head." Julien obeyed and let Skipper explore the other side of his neck. He could feel the penguin grin every time he found another erogenous area. Julien was lightly panting now, moans becoming more frequent and his groin coming to life. They must have been quite a sight, Julien pressed up against the side of the hut, his arms around the penguin and his tail brushing his feet. When had they gotten into this position? Even Julien didn't know. He cared even less when Skipper grinded their crotches together. A throaty moan escaped him as his body craved more contact. The roughness of a beak against his muzzle snapped his eyes open. Skipper was looking up at him, his eyes fill with lust and longing. _He... wants another kiss. _Julien obliged and the two shared a passionate kiss under the snowfall.

BAM. "Skipper, Julien, are you guys out here?"

And then Marlene had to ruin everything. Skipper left him in milliseconds and Julien lost his balance and fell into the snow. Nothing like some snow on your privates to kill your horniness.

"Y-yeah, we're just out enjoying the snow fall, right Ring-tail?" _I was enjoying our make-out session until the otter ruined it. _Julien got up and removed all the snow from his fur.

"Yes yes, the snow is very pretty, like some other things..." Skipper remained quiet to his flirting. Marlene didn't notice.

"It's great you guys are getting along again. Are you coming back inside soon? You're missing a great party."

"Yeah, we were just about to come inside."

"Okay. I don't know how you two stayed our here for so long though. It's freezing." She wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep warm. "But you're right, the snow is beautiful tonight." Skipper walked up to her and led her back inside. Now alone, Julien took one last look up at the sky and noticed the mistletoe was gone.

* * *

The rest of the party had been really fun. Skipper enjoyed himself greatly. Someone had spiked the eggnog and a few of the animals ended up drunk. Fortunately Rico had a video camera and recorded Kowalski's duet with Julien singing "It's raining men" while the lemur held a penguin plushy and Kowalski sported a lampshade on his head. _Are Christmas parties with drunken antics that predictable? _The party ended around one in the morning and the three penguins helped a tipsy Kowalski back to HQ. The lemurs and Marlene walked along with them. Julien was making out with the stuffed toy and mumbling stuff to it. Now Skipper wasn't a religious penguin, but he was praying to the Sky Spirits that Julien wasn't a blabber mouth drunk. Soon they parted ways and went to their habitats. Everyone fell asleep quickly, except for Skipper who was still awake. His mind was on what he and Julien had done.

_Why did I go that far? For Grant's(3) sake, I was practically humping him! What am I, a teenager? _He rolled over trying to find a more comfortable position. _What am I going to do now? Once you neck with a guy, it's kind of hard to ignore it. It wasn't that bad either... _He let out a sigh. _Life was so much simpler when I was married with a doll... But Lola never kissed me back like Julien does._

_"Do you think you'll have a great Christmas tomorrow Skippah?" Private had asked at the party._

_"I'm already having the best Christmas Private," he had said while watching Julien hug the penguin plush._

A smile found its way onto Skipper's beak. _I guess I can give Ring-tail a try. It probably won't get too serious anyway. Besides, even a soldier needs some loving. _Satisfied with his reasoning, Skipper closed his eyes and feel asleep not bothered by the fact he was going to pursue a relationship with another guy. Don't ask, don't tell, right?

* * *

1. Private said it was a shed in "All King No Kingdom" but it looks more like a hut.

2. Julien used to say Chrisymas, but Skipper has been teaching him to pronounce it correctly. He now calls it Christmasy because of his tendency to stick y at the end of words.

3. Ulysses S. Grant, Union General during the Civil War and 18th President of the U.S.

Looks like that mistletoe Santa gave Private worked wonders. Next chapter has the return to the present day with Julien planning a party, the penguins snooping into Julien and Skipper's private time, and Skipper doing damage control.

Remember to review.


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